Friday, November 09, 2007

Elementary Education

What you may learn in Houston elementary schools these days:

  1. Calling a woman "miss" means "mistress"; and "mister" means "slave master".
  2. Sugar is cocaine.
  3. McDonald's should be called "Crack Donald's" and Burger King should be called "Murder King" because the hormones in the food will kill you.
  4. Hair permanents and makeup cause cancer.
  5. Toothpaste contains rat poison.
I'm sure that the bogus moon landings and this whole "round earth" malarkey were debunked by the sub, as well. The substitute teacher who taught a 5th graders this (as part of a health class) has promised to stick to the script from now on. Parents are, understandably, not satisfied.

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