*slurp* question revisited

So yesterday I posed the question of what you would do if someone around you occasionally slurped his drink. I admit, I am the one with the drugstore blues.

And the person in question, from who's point of view I was asking, is a guy who sits two cubes down from me at work.

He answered the question yesterday, but not in a nicely framed comment. No, instead he started yelling at me from his chair two cubes down and proceeded to rant about my annoying behaviors for the next five minutes. How many of you would have responded in this way? (Delicious irony: 90 minutes later we both sat in a safety meeting where the topic was . . . workplace violence - physical, verbal, and psychological.)

I admit, the slurp happens. I don't hang on to the slurp, drawing it out while I attempt to suck every last microliter of beverage from the cup through my straw; nevertheless, when the drink is disappearing a noise is made. His tirade just nearly killed the day for me (but I thank God for being able to go home to Mrs. E and the kids and have a blast trick or treating last night, allowing me to get this out of my head for a while).

I won't say that I didn't get a little snarky in my reply to his rant (okay, I actually did offer to buy him some earplugs) but over the last five years I have tried dang hard to be professional, genial, non-offensive, and friendly with this guy. I seriously want to act Christ-like, not violent or rude or provoking further confrontations. Because of this guy's peeves, I have done such things as taken to looking the other way as I walk by his desk, because to have eyes cast on him bothers him (another point over which he has blown a gasket, I guess feeling that I was either spying on him or could not stop basking in his manly glory - yeah, right). I have also pretty well stopped listening to music over my computer and mainly use headphones now, despite the fact that they invariably bug my ears after a while, because the music was too loud and he hates my music and doesn't want to hear it (other yelling sessions came over this in this past). All this, to try and keep peace in the office, to no avail.

And, the thing is, despite his assertion that I bug everyone with my numerous flaws, no one else has ever complained to me about what I do. No one. Ever. The guy who sits in the cube between us - the music was not too loud (I asked). And the guy on the other side of me, no problems either. I know that this guy just plain and simple has a problem with me, and nothing I do (short of disappearing) will make him happy.

I still try. All the while biting my tongue on the laundry list of his annoying behaviors that I could throw back in his face. It wouldn't do any good, and it would not be the right thing to do. Oh, I still want to, but I won't. We all have our quirks that drive others crazy, a simple fact. We deal with them, and try to minimize our own out of love, but they will never cease completely.

I'm just venting here. I've put up with this nonsense for the better part of five years, and I expect it will continue until he probably leaves in about a year (he's working on a law degree). Please pray for me to have patience and a thick skin with this guy. And praying for him to chill would not be a bad thing, either.

Thanks.