Zzzzzzzzzzzz

I'm tired.

I'm really tired.

I'm struggling here to care about the blog world. I've made some interesting "friends" in my year and a half of blogging, but right now I just don't care. Honestly. Don't care. I've got other things on my mind. Hosting family for Christmas. Getting the house clean. Presents wrapped. Trying not to completely lose my temper with my family for no reason (which is totally out of character for me, but true at the moment). Little things like that.

I know I'm not the most popular site on the net. Ho hum, big deal. Why would I expect to be the number one site, or even number 1,000,000, when even I don't think I'm that interesting or compelling. I get, randomly, between 20 and 100 visitors a day to Euphrony Rambles. On top of that, I have an average of 30 subscribers to my RSS Feed. So, probably 30-40 regular readers of this blathering blatherskite. I don't think that's too bad. I get maybe three comments a week - so much for hosting a conversation here. I converse a ton on other blogs, though.

I'm struggling not to look at this as a popularity contest. I know its not, but sometimes I care just too much about such things. And I don't want to deal with it right now. I'm trying to work on another site, Inspired to Action, where we talk about and try to inspire people to act, in God's name, to touch people's lives. It's hard to inspire others when you yourself feel rather uninspired. I'd rather see good stuff over there than dross here. I've got several post ideas - about abominations of Christmas yard decorations, thoughts on books I've read recently, I could talk about my kids for days, the struggles of helping and caring for friends (and family) even when you think they may be doing stupid things, music is always on my mind, I could rant for days about my office nemesis, or how I feel some people/Christians take the work of some of the best artists and strip it of all meaning to clothe themselves in the leftover, tattered rags and effect an air of accomplishment for embracing the art or worship. Boy, I could rant for days about some things right now.

But I don't want to. I don't want to be the gripe spot. I don't want to be so negative. I don't even feel the desire to take the time to write down the positive things. Rather do something else. The only reason I'm typing right now is catharsis - it'll be even odds as to whether I publish this or trash it. I'm not doing it to get sympathy (oh, Euphrony, we love your blog . . .), I'm just talking. If you like stopping by here, then great. If you're just passing through, well, you know where to find me. Come back any time. Maybe I will, too. Some time.

Right now, I want to spend the holidays with my family. I want to not blow it when Lil'E starts whining about not eating the dinner she asked for. I want to be a support and joy for my wife, not an annoying jerk. I had to leave the house after dinner last night, go catch a movie and do some grocery shopping, so that I could get a hold on my temper and calm down a bit. Me. For those who don't know me, I don't have a temper. I'm mister calm, cool, and collected. But there it is.

There's been some ballyhoo from a couple of bloggers about taking a blogcation. I guess I'm joining them. Don't be surprised if you don't here from me for a while; at least not before 2008. And considering my work load for January, I don't think I'll be around much then. I'll be focusing most of my efforts on I2A, not here. Like I said, that's worth something. Go there.

TTFN