Travel

Sorry I didn't get the promised music post up yesterday. I'll get it up later this week - it really is a great artist!

I'm on the road most of this week. Yet another rheology paper brought to you by Euphrony, Rheologist at Large. This week I'm in The Big Easy, New Orleans jazz and seafood are floating around me - I like that. A few quick points:

• I miss being elite. I was an elite flier with Continental, owing to a lot of travel in 2007. But 2008 had much less flying and I just lost my elite status. What that means is that I had to pay for my checked luggage, did not get to cut in the security check line, and my bag did not get a lovely sticker that tells the baggage handlers to make sure mine is one of the first onto the belt at baggage claim. Ah, well, such is life among the masses.
• I decided to take the airport shuttle to the hotel instead of a cab, which costs twice as much. In return for being cheap I got to wait 45 minutes for the shuttle to arrive.
• My hotel room is an "Accessible" room, meaning it is made for a person in a wheelchair. They asked if I was okay with that at check-in, noting it would have a shower and not a tub. Sure, I said, no problem. I didn't realize that meant the shower is zero-entry (as in nothing dividing it from the rest of the bathroom). I'm still okay with that - I just wish they had a shower curtain to keep water from spraying the toilet and towels. On the plus side, the towels. Ahhh, so soft. And big, too! I'm a six-foot guy and the towel stretched from my chin to the floor. Now that's a towel!
• The conference this year is one I regularly attend. It's usually in Houston, but they moved it this year (for whatever reason). It would seem that a different group is organizing it this year, and it seems pretty slip-shod by comparison. Hope things improve, and we'll see about the quality of the presentations and the attendance in this recession.

TTFN!

My new favorite quote

In many cases, as far as viscosity is concerned, the Brookfield is to the quality-control laboratory what the Hoover is to the home.
Howard Barnes, "An examination of the use of rotational viscometers for the quality control of non-Newtonian liquid products in factories", Applied Rheology 11, 89-101 (2001).

I read this line today in the referenced paper by Howard Barnes. And I just about died laughing. (Can you tell I'm writing a new paper? And I have to turn it in tomorrow? And I'm a little brain-dead?)

You don't get it. I know you don't. But that's okay. I'm the rheologist around here, after all, and not you.

No, seriously, I'm still laughing. And you're probably wondering about my sanity. But that's okay, too. I'm the nerdy engineer around here, after all, and not you. (Or, not most of you.)

To fill you in on the aspects of this, let me tell you a few simple things. First, Howard Barnes. He is a crusty old Welshman, with many years of willingness to take a critical but tongue-in-cheek look at rheological issues. Seriously, to hear him dead pan some of these lines is just hilarious. If you are a rheologist.

Secondly, the Brookfield. Brookfield Engineering makes a variety of viscometers and rheometers (there's a difference, folks! Amazingly, Wikipedia is missing pages which describe the differences.) for industrial use. They're a nice company, and I know a couple of nice people who work there. The viscometer to which Barnes is referring is a truly ubiquitous instrument, used anywhere a fluid-like substance needs to be tested. And it's good for it's purpose. I won't bore you (TOO LATE!) with what distinguishes it from other, more rigorous viscometric methods. Suffice to say, it differs.

And that brings us to the third point. The people who use a Brookfield typically have no clue that there is a difference. I would liken it to reading the temperature off a thermometer. Never mind that the thermometer you are using is encased in ice melting in the Death Valley summer sun - when you see it reads 32°F, you dutifully write down that number and dare anyone short of God to challenge its validity. I have lost literally weeks of my life explaining this to people who don't understand why the data they're getting doesn't match with data from other sources or what was expected for the sample. Literally, weeks I'll never have back.

And that's why I'm laughing. Because someone else feels my pain.

Uh, hey, where did everybody go? I guess I lost you somewhere up there. Goodnight every body!

Tags: Brookfield, Viscometer, Howard Barnes, Quote

Transitions (or "How Euphrony did something that might on the surface seem a bit crazy but really will turn out to be a good thing")

There are two things in life that I am not fond of. The first is being up on a ladder and the second is change. So, what have I done this week? I hung Christmas lights (hours going up and down a ladder) and I quit my job.

Yes, you read that correctly. I quit my job. In the middle of what is now, officially, a recession I quit my stable, relatively secure position. And I did it for the money. Among other reasons.

Is it crazy? Maybe.

So, about a month ago (actually, the week I had strep throat) I was called out of the blue by a head-hunter representing one of my old companies competitors. They had a job opening for a rheologist and my name was brought to their attention. They brought me in for an interview - I didn't even have time to put together a resume, I just gave them a CV I use when I go to conferences and such. Sixty minutes later, I went home. And then the head-hunter called back to talk salary.

I debated this for a month. I wasn't looking for a new job. Outside of the normal annoyances, and of course the Dilbert-like bureaucracies that can be found at every company, I was happy with my job. So, why should I be looking for something else? But, I would have been a fool to not at least talk to them. And then, after the interview, I prayed for weeks about this - and I think that God gave me little answers every day. Now was a good time for a change.

So, on Monday, I gave my boss two weeks notice. And, hearing that I was leaving for a competitor, he kindly asked me to pack up my desk and leave that day. Abrupt, but I kind of understand the reasoning (it's corporate policy, not just him). Everyone was quite surprised, and sad to see me go (that's nice) and I'm not burning any bridges; in all, I kind of feel bad leaving them in the lurch, but it was what I thought best for me and my family. Since I wasn't slated to start the new job until the 15th, I suddenly found myself with a great deal of free time. I'm working on the pre-employment stuff, drug screening, and background check, and with that all out of the way I should be able to go ahead and start next Monday. Just an extra week of vacation this year.

As I said in a comment yesterday, I had learned firsthand that free time isn't free. I've been busier than a one-armed coat hanger and barely found time to write this two days after the event. But there you go - the adventures continue.

Four days with Inspector Clouseau

Thursday marks four days of my sitting through lectures by none other than Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau. Okay, it isn't really Peter Sellers' famous character, but close enough. A little older, portly, and with graying hair - but the exaggerated accent is there.

You'd think that would be fun, wouldn't you? Yes, he did talk about how there is very little resistance keeping a man and woman apart in the shower. And yes, he has repeatedly referred to some surfactants as looking like "cookratches" (cockroaches). But, how many ternary phase diagrams of surfactant/oil/water combinations can you look at in a four day period before the onset of insanity? Here, look at this one and tell me how long it would take you?

The worst part of it is that we brought this guy up from Venezuela to teach this He did the same thing 20 months ago. He is covering the exact same material. We were all hoping for a little more advanced teaching this time. The one thing he took out for this round - rheology of surfactant systems. Total bummer! Ah, well, such is life. I'll make it through this last day and then I'll be able to get back to some real work. Maybe. In the near future. I hope.

Rambling through Monterey: The rest of the story . . .

When we last saw Euphrony at the mega-rheology conference in Monterey, Mrs. E had just joined him in blissful weather. And he really intended to post this sooner. But didn't. And he doesn't think anybody has really noticed, either.

Day 7: Euphrony goes through conference talks, while Mrs. E sleeps till 11 and has a 2-hour massage, facial, manicure, and pedicure. (We cry for her pain.) That evening is the conference banquet. Normally, this is when the man honored with this year's Bingham Medal is roasted by colleagues, former students, and friends. Thankfully, we were given grace and this year he was simply handed a medal (along with a brief poem or two about him, rheology, and thermodynamics). Mrs. E - accustomed to running with the theater crowd - was naturally ashamed and felt awkward in a room filled with so many total nerds and geeks. She survived, we dined, and we went to bed.

Day 8: Last day of the conference, and it's only a half day. We end with a luncheon (which Mrs. E attends) and then it is pure vacation time. For Euphrony, it has been a long, exhausting week. Not only has he absorbed enormous amounts of information, but he has engaged in countless hours of small talk, bantering, socializing, networking, hobnobbing, and other forms of prattle - which comes to more words from Euphrony's mouth in one week than he normally utters in half a year. All in situations where Euphrony feels somewhat less than totally comfortable, to boot. (Euphrony has never been a very extroverted person.) For the afternoon, Mrs. E and Euphrony walk along the Fisherman's Wharf, take a glass-bottomed boat ride (the only thing viewed through the glass bottom was - wait for it - kelp), and eat clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl. We did see some dolphins and sea lions while we took the boat ride, through.


Day 9: Euphrony, always the early riser, is up at a decent hour. Mrs. E, however, is unable to rise from slumber before 11:00 (again!). We head up to Cannery Row, where they love to talk about their famous one-time resident, John Steinbeck, who only lived there a year because the people had little love of strangers. We go through the Monterey Bay Aquarium together (check out the picture of the line to get into the aquarium), including taking a behind-the-scenes 50-minute tour (same price for this as for the glass-bottom boat ride, and infinitely more worthwhile). After spending around five hours at the aquarium, we head out and grab some dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.. By the time we're done with dinner, it's getting dark and as we stroll back along the beach walkway, Euphrony snaps a few pics of the city lights. We also walk by a street musician who has a collection of every type of bagpipe you could imagine, among other things, and played quiet well.



Day 10: To stick with tradition, Euphrony is up early and Mrs. E sleeps till nearly 11:00. We then get moving, go down to the wharf, and catch some lunch before getting on a whale-watching boat. At lunch we got to watch a harbor seal basking in the sun just below us off the wharf. There were only a couple of humpback whales seen on this trip, but a few days before they had seen three blue whales - so we just were not lucky. That night we pack and spend a little time watching the Olympics.


Day 11: The voyage home. Poor Mrs. E. We had to catch a shuttle to the airport at 8:15, so her streak of sleeping till 11:00 was unceremoniously interrupted. We finally make it home around 6:00 that night, and Lil'E tells me she never wants me to go on another business trip again. Lil'er E only has eyes for momma. It's good to be home.

Tags: Monterey, California, Monterey Bay Aquarium, Fisherman's Wharf, Cannery Row, Whales, Dolphins, Sea Lions, Seals

Continued rambling about last week (or, another peek in my journal)

When we last heard from Euphrony he was battling his way through short courses on rheology and suffering through the 70°F weather of Monterey, California. We pick up as the conference actually begins . . .

Day 4: The conference begins full-pace today. Over the next five days I will attend something like 60 talks, out of a possible 250, and examine another 200 or so posters. But, undaunted, I am enthused as the sessions begin. Except for the fact that all the morning talks on the first day do not appeal to me - but it picks up in the afternoon. At night, the "social program" continues as the conference attendees and their accompanying families go to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. This special event is held after hours, so we are the only people there - much less crowded that way. It is a surreal experience - watching people dine on prime rib, sipping fine California wines, and strolling around observing the beautiful jellyfish, otters, penguins, sharks, tuna, and other features of the aquarium. Part of the time, though, I spend on the phone with Mrs. E - helping her prepare for the impending strike of Tropical Storm Edouard (which, thankfully, was a minimal impact).

Day 5: My day. My presentation is this afternoon, and I am presenting a poster at the poster session this evening, as well. Really, I'm a pretty relaxed speaker - confident about what I talk about, unfazed by goof ball questions, and keeping the talk within the alloted time - so I'm not worried. Some good talks today - interesting and informative. The morning keynote speaker is one of the best talks I've ever heard, with a great balance of science, innovative work, and real-world application. I stay in at lunch to go over my talk, then park in the room for my session. The talk went well, and many people told me they found it interesting and well done. And, they told me how good a job I did about being circumspect about issues that would give problems for intellectual property or corporate secrets (a big difference between me and most of them, who are in academia). The poster session is well-fueled with wine and beer, but the food is impossible to get at - who thought of only having one line to serve 1000 people? Silly. So, it's 9:00 before I eat. I chat with my old adviser for more than an hour; great to catch up with him. I don't see him much since he went to Cornell.

Day 6: Ahhh, no more pressure. My active part is done, now I can relax and just absorb knowledge. Mrs. E is flying in this afternoon, and the conference is half-day sessions and half-day excursions. The morning talks are so-so, but the afternoon is great. I take a bus tour down the Big Sur coastline. We get some great views, stop at a couple of places before spending 90 minutes at Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park. The scenery is amazing, as is viewing the damage from this summer's fires. (Note, one of the places we stopped for coastal views was a restaurant across from a hotel and spa. Three days after we were there, a kitchen fire burned the hotel to the ground - even after it had survived the forest fires.)
When I return I find Mrs. E sleeping in the room. That evening there is a beach party (more of the social program). Alas, we did not stay long enough for the karaoke - Mrs. E had sprained her ankle a few days before (toys on the stairs) and walking on the sand was just not good. We instead went back to the room and watched P.S. I Love You. Query: Why does Hilary Swank spend the first 5 minutes wearing just a bra? Answer: To keep the guys involved in a chick-flick. Further query: Why do we later see Jeffrey Dean Morgan's fully nude butt? Answer: Payback for the ladies whose dates just got to see Hilary Swank spend the first 5 minutes wearing just a bra.

Stay tuned. More to follow . . .

Tags: Monterey Bay Aquarium, Big Sur, Forest Fire, Coastline, Jellyfish

Ramblings of a rheologicaly inclined mind

So, for those of you who haven't noticed, I've been a little out of pocket the last two weeks. Well, I've spent a good deal of that time having my mind scrambled and then trying to recover. I'll attempt to share a few of the random thoughts from my personal journal from the previous fortnight. And, yes, I just used the word "fortnight" in a sentence of modern context.

Day 1: Flying to San Jose, California, then catching a shuttle to Monterey. Got bumped from my normal seat and placed in the back, between two people. They tell me it was just because; I think it's because I got bumped to 1^st class on my last flight to Tulsa. Karma, right - 1^st class on a 90-minute flight and squished on a 4-hour flight. At least my row-mates were well-suited to crunch together. Nice lady sat on my left, and on my right was a man my dad would call an IBM (itty-bitty Mexican, very un-PC, I know). Sidebar: The San Jose airport still rolls up stairs to the side of the plane and you walk down the tarmac to get between the plane and terminal. Interesting. At least the weather is a relief from Houston in August. I'm wondering about that long pillow the hotel puts on my bed - no good for sleeping, I'm thinking.

Day 2: Begin the first of two one-day short coursed I will take before the conference. This one is on the rheology of suspensions and colloids. Good teachers - well informed and respected on the subject. Had lunch with a guy who works for my companies biggest competitor (and is also going to be the session chair introducing my paper). Ate at Fisherman's Wharf - fish and chips sitting on the harbor, watching seals play and getting a sunburn. Finish reading The Strange Case of Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde over dinner.

Day 3: It's my anniversary, and I'm 1600 miles from my wife. Bummed. Short course #2 starts - surfactant rheology. Learn a few new things in this one, and get some really good ideas for work I need to do regarding my current research. Each of these two short courses is essentially a one-semester college course packed into a day. I'm tired. There is an evening reception to officially kick off the conference - it's packed. Normally, only ~300 people attend the annual Society of Rheology conference; this year is different, an International Congress on rheology held every 4 years. More than 1000 rheologists and students in attendance, plus many family members. Were a disaster to strike Monterey this week, the world would quite nearly lose all practitioners of this arcane discipline. Sobering thought. More sobering thought: how long would it take for the world to start missing us? To that question: I've had people ask me (seeing the above logo for the conference) if rheology is the study of butterflies. No, that would be a lepidopterist, not a rheologist. Time to go to bed before my head explodes from short course knowledge, even before the conference begins, or anyone else chooses to deflate my ego more.

What do you think? No, really, I want to know!

They are a variety of people who read this meandering mess of a blog, and I decided that I wanted to probe you various minds and ways of thought regarding hot-topic issues of the day.

What do you think of the various economic plans being proposed to help relieve today's economic crunch? Especially those relating to the energy sector (e.g. a gas-tax holiday, windfall profits tax proposals, diversion of money/profits to research in alternative fuels and renewable power)?

Surely between all three or so of us who read this blog we have some different opinions on what is going on and what we need to be doing both to make things better today and in the future. And it also occurs to me that, being a researcher who works in the energy industry, I could possibly answer some of the questions you've been dying to ask but never knew who to turn to. I could explain the process of drilling for and recovering oil (and in the process, explain why the global oil reserves estimate has not really changed in three decades). Or I could tell you about fuel cells (I've worked with them some, as well).

So, let me pick your brain, and I will let you pick mine. Anyone up for such an exchange?

Tags: Energy, Tax, Oil, Fuel Cell, Drilling, Policy, Profits, Gasoline

Things I've learned in the last few days

1. There's one in every crowd

   Okay, so this really isn't something new I've learned; but the truth in this statement was driven home again yesterday. You see, Euphrony has been at another one of his conferences and I presented a paper yesterday afternoon. There is a certain guy whom I always see at this conference who can be counted on for a few things. First, after a paper is presented he will ask a question. Second, the question will be some off-the-wall, make me look smart and the presenter look dumb question. Third, I - as a general policy - ignore him. As the first two were proved out many times before my paper, I was reassured of my assumptions as he stepped to the microphone when I asked for questions. Since he followed the same pattern, I decided to stay with mine and just ignored him.
   
   Like I said, there's one in every crowd. He happened to be in this one, and I've seen many others in the past. Whenever you try to answer their question you just get nowhere. They are like black holes for information - it sinks in, but what happens after that is a mystery. For example, after speaking for 20 minutes on the relevance of rheology to drilling fluids a few years ago, I had a gentleman stand up ask ask me "So, why is rheology relevant to drilling fluids?" Either I did an extremely poor job in the presentation, or the problem is on the other end of the line (if you know what I mean . . .).

2. My rheological tests have a monetary value

   I won't say how much, but I found out today what we were planning on charging a customer for me to do some very basic rheological tests (the kind that takes little effort and only an hour or so of my time). Were I ambitious, I could use such information to set up my own independent rheology test company. The first year would be pretty lean, but if I had some business I could be doing pretty well by the second or third year. I mean, vacation home well, like those commercials you see on T.V. But it seems like too much trouble, so . . .

3. There is an opposite to germaphobia

   And it is embodied in my daughter. I got a note from my sister-in-law about their little girl having to get stitches on her chin after a fall a few days ago. They wrapped her up tightly in a blanket, like a mummy, so they could sew the stitches. If that were Lil'E, we would have had to tranquilize her just to get her to the car. You remember the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail? "Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch! King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!" That's Lil'E. She goes into hysterics if you try to put a band aid on her, and she could be bleeding profusely and insist that she's just fine. She hates and fears being doctored, with a passion.

4. I have the sweetest little girl in the whole, wide world

   But while I'm talking about Lil'E, let me tell you what a sweetie she really is. While attending this conference I found myself in the unenviable position of being sick at the same time. So, as I got home at night I was just plain too tired to do much of anything - much less play with the kids or do my normal bedtime routines with them. Lil'E was so understanding. On Monday night, she came down after I sent her up to bed and handed me a picture she had colored. She told me "I drew this to help you feel better daddy. I love you." Oh, how sweet it is.

So, have you ever been hit by a drive-by question? How did you handle it - I'm always looking for better (professional) ways to do this. And do you know any germaphobes?

Because Shaun asked . . .

I commented on Shaun's blog today, mentioning that I am reading rheology journals. Shaun responded:

rheology: the study of the deformation and flow of matter under the influence of an applied stress

What on EARTH do you do for a living?

Well, Shaun, since you asked - I’m a rheologist, of course!

I work for an oilfield services company, in research, developing and studying drilling fluids. I could give you a couple of references to papers I authored, but that would ruin my anonymity and you would probably lose interest in them before you finished the title. I did post an excerpt from a paper on my blog some time ago, pretty much just to scare people.

For me, I try to make fluids that you can pump down a hole that can be five or six miles long, have it viscous (thick) enough to remove the drilled up dirt from the hole but not so thick that it’s like pushing bread dough through a straw. Plus about a hundred other considerations. Oh, bonus! The common vernacular for drilling fluids is to call them "muds" (since they consist mostly of dirt and water). So I get to tell people I play with mud all day long - every little boys dream!

As for rheology in general, it has great application in everyday life. For example, take peanut butter. You want the processed peanut butter thick enough so that it doesn’t separate into that oil layer on top like organic peanut butters (most people like it this way). If it is too thick, though, you can’t spread it on bread without tearing the bread. There is a nice, non-scary article here that gives a basic explanation. The premise of rheology is that everything flows, everything is deformable, given a long enough timescale and the proper environment.

Rheology trivia:

1. The longest running laboratory experiment (as recognized by Guinness) is a rheology experiment. (Unsurprisingly, I’ve blogged this, as well.) In it, pitch (you know, the stuff Noah used to seal the ark) at room temperature – which will shatter like glass if hit with a hammer – has been left in funnel to drip for the last 78 years. In that time, it has produced eight drops. It has won both an Ig-Nobel Prize and Dull Website of the Year from the Dull Men’s Club.
2. Glass panes in very old churches in Europe are a prime example of everything flows. The glass is noticeably thicker at the bottom of the pane than at the top. Even though the glass seems "solid" it is really flowing over a very long time.
3. There is a rheological parameter named the Deborah Number, after Deborah in the book of Judges. In her song praising God in Judges 5:5, she sings "The mountains flowed before the Lord." She is thus commonly recognized as the first rheologist noting that, given God’s long-term objective, everything does indeed flow.

So, too much information? You can read some more that I’ve talked about rheology on my blog, if you’re interested. I wouldn’t be surprised if that link never gets followed, though.