Pre-School Elvis

Yesterday was a big day for the Euphrony children. Imagine The Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show. Picture Elvis singing "Hound Dog" on The Milton Berle Show. It was that big of a day. We took the kids to see the pre-school Elvis.

We went to see Elmo live.

There were a dozen Muppets on stage, singing and dancing. Grover, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, the Count, Bert and Ernie, even Oscar. But, when Elmo came out . . . well, imagine The Beatles hitting the first chords of "I Want To Hold Your Hand" on Sullivan and the screams that went out - same thing, only it was a bunch of kids screaming for their superstar.

In case you're wondering, the letter of the day was "F". And the number of the day was "6".

Seriously, it's a rare thing that gets Lil'er E to stop in his tracks and cease his wild and destructive ways. Elmo is magic like that. (Really, we can count on Elmo and Kung Fu Panda to stop him dead.) Just take a look at the attention he's giving to the big red guy.

Of course, the kiddie-crack (cotton candy) was a big hit, too. We got Lil'E a pink sno-cone, but she didn't like it. She said it tasted like skin. Mrs. E gave it a try - she said it pretty much had no flavor at all, but no skin. Poor kid.

But she got a Zoe doll, so she was happy. Lil'er E got a small Elmo, naturally. And everyone went home happy.

Tags: Elmo, Sesame Street, Live, Kids, Superstar, Cotton Candy, Sno-Cone

My Major Award

No, it's not that major award. But I understand that some lucky(?) guy on eBay won the rights to stay at that house (with the major award) for Christmas Eve and Day for the low, low price of $5300.

No, this is my Major Award. It's from NASA! (Note: frame not included.)

I've obviously done a little editing to the certificate, in order to protect my pseudo-anonymity. But it is a real, honest to goodness certificate of achievement from the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. I feel so honored. No, really, I do.

But wait, there's more! This certificate comes with a lovely gift, on some of the finest stationary you'll every see, from the United States Treasury (complete with the treasury seal), with a number preceded by a dollar sign, and redeemable at banks anywhere. Since this gift bears the U.S. treasury seal, I felt it my duty - nay, my honor and privilege - to that everyone out there who has contributed to the U.S. Treasury. I'm starting here in the bloggosphere, but soon expect to great everyone on the streets with a hearty handshake and a thank you. It may confuse them, it may get me injured or fitted for a new, tight-fitting jacket by men in white, but I feel I simply must.

So, thank you, to all of you who have contributed your nickels, dimes, and quarters to this award.

By the way, what is you best Major Award?

Music Monday: Free Sara Groves

This is kind of the Late Edition for my contribution to Music Monday - I've been rather busy today.

Who doesn't love free music? I know that I love getting free music, and hunt it down when I can. Well, this week I'm giving away a copy of Sara Groves' Christmas CD, O Holy Night. I reviewed the CD recently, which you can read here.

To have a chance at winning, just comment on this post and I'll randomly pick a winner.

Oh, by the way, I want to make this fun.
Now, I love Christmas music. I often find myself humming or singing a carol any time of the year. Therein lies a problem, though: what this means is that I can't get Christmas music out of my head. Every year, from Thanksgiving to New Years, the air waves are flooded with songs of nativity and Santa - and I begin to go insane (in a good way) with lyrics filling my head at all hours. So I have a coping mechanism - I change the lyrics.

A couple of examples:
"Walking in a winter wonderland" becomes "Walking in our winter underwear"
or
"Have yourself a merry little Christmas" becomes "Have yourself a Maury little Povich"

Now, I'm sure you're all calling for the men in white coats to come pick me up. Not without reason, either. But it helps me survive with a semblance of sanity through the year. And that brings me back to the making this contest fun - I know I'm not the only person who does this. When you comment, tell me what common song lyrics you intentionally change. It can be a Christmas song or any other song. Mrs. E changes the Third Day lyric "You are beautiful my sweet, sweet song" to "You are beautiful my sweet cell phone" (usually while holding up her phone and staring at it with reverence and amusement.

In Short
Tell me you want the CD (and why wouldn't you want this CD?). And tell me some funny lyric changes you make. And on Thursday I'll tell you who won.

Tags: Sara Groves, Free Music, Music Monday, Contest

101 reasons to learn a lesson

This past Wednesday, at work, I received 101 lessons as to why people should learn a lesson. Specifically, I received 100 lessons from people who did not learn the lesson from the first person's mistake.

On Wednesday morning, my work e-mail received what would seem to have been a spam e-mail. It was one that we had been recently warned about, appearing to originate from someone within the company and asking to have access granted to various security systems. Having been both forewarned and armed with the knowledge that I had no business granting such access, I deleted the e-mail.

The the first lesson came. In the form of a reply to the original e-mail by a person questioning why they were sent the e-mail. Of course, this person hit "reply all", thus sending it to everyone. Isn't it annoying when someone blindly uses "reply all" like that?

Ah, but then the real fun started rolling in. Over the next four or five hours I continued to receive e-mails from people protesting their inability to perform such a task and the likelihood that they were sent the original e-mail by mistake. All of them hit "reply all". I also got e-mails from people who were begging people to stop using "reply all", who also (naturally) had hit "reply all". The best of these was sent in a eye-catching blue, 100 point font - to everyone. In total, 101 "reply all's" were sent out. To everyone.

Oh, and when I say it was sent to everyone, I mean to everyone. Every single employee of this great company for which I work. All 38,000 (give or take) employees. All of it internal e-mail. I could practically smell our e-mail server melting from here. Other e-mails took significantly longer to get through the system. If it weren't so comedic and absurd, it would be downright frustrating.

Anyway, I survived without becoming e-mail cannon fodder. Either people finally wised up (unlikely) or the IT group put a block on everything related to this e-mail chain (more likely).

So, what's the record for the number of "reply all" junk e-mails for you?

Four days with Inspector Clouseau

Thursday marks four days of my sitting through lectures by none other than Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau. Okay, it isn't really Peter Sellers' famous character, but close enough. A little older, portly, and with graying hair - but the exaggerated accent is there.

You'd think that would be fun, wouldn't you? Yes, he did talk about how there is very little resistance keeping a man and woman apart in the shower. And yes, he has repeatedly referred to some surfactants as looking like "cookratches" (cockroaches). But, how many ternary phase diagrams of surfactant/oil/water combinations can you look at in a four day period before the onset of insanity? Here, look at this one and tell me how long it would take you?

The worst part of it is that we brought this guy up from Venezuela to teach this He did the same thing 20 months ago. He is covering the exact same material. We were all hoping for a little more advanced teaching this time. The one thing he took out for this round - rheology of surfactant systems. Total bummer! Ah, well, such is life. I'll make it through this last day and then I'll be able to get back to some real work. Maybe. In the near future. I hope.

Dear Derek Webb, please don't think me a complete imbecile . . .

Dear Derek Webb,

Please don't think me a complete imbecile.

This is Euphrony. I was chatting with you last night, after the Arts*Music*Justice concert in Houston. We were having such a nice conversation. I enjoyed talking about NoiseTrade and your plans for it. I really look forward to changes to the site you were telling me about. It's amazing how fast NoiseTrade has grown, and the caliber of artists represented there. I'm also excited that you've found more people to help with NoiseTrade, so that you can make more music.

I laughed when you said you're job is not to sell records, right after telling people to vote with their conscious even it that means not voting and before you sang "A Savior on Capitol Hill". The irony was great.

We also got to talking a little bit about great artists that just are not highly recognized by the public, after I mentioned getting the Steven Delopoulos B-Sides album on NoiseTrade. We talked about Pierce Pettis, who came up because everyone walked on stage to his song "Miriam" at the start of the concert. I was talking about how "Absalom, Absalom" is one of favorite Pettis songs, and a little of what it means to me, when I felt my phone vibrate - and so I thanked you and bid you good night, both to answer the phone and let you return to striking the stage.

It was only today that it occurred to me that I stopped in mid-thought about "Absalom, Absalom". In retrospect, from what I said, I must sound like a complete idiot who has no understanding of the song or art in general. While this letter may be further evidence to said conclusion, I assure you that I am not.

Again, it was a pleasure talking with you. I hope to get the chance again soon.

Euphrony

Tags: Derek Webb

The Cheese Man

Today is School Picture Day at Lil'E's kindergarten. School Pictures are a racket, I think.

No, really, it's a load of crock how they work. We get the order form a few days before picture day. We then proceed to choose from four poses for Lil'E, including:

1. The lousy standing pose, with arms crossed and body twisted, half-facing the camera and half-running toward the exit.
2. The lousy sitting pose, with arms crossed and body twisted, half-facing the camera and half-falling toward the exit.
3. Same as Pose #2, but zoomed in on upper body/face.
4. Same as Pose #2, but zoomed in so close on the face you feel like you could count boogers

The choice then ranges to background color: fade to Gray, blend-in Blue, putrescent Purple, and oh my eyes are bleeding Green. The fun continues as you decide how many pictures to order. Order none and your child will be crushed. Order too many and you might as well invest in recycling for all the bad photos you'll be disposing of. And then, before the child ever sees the photographer, you pay for it all. Sight unseen, you have just become a victim of caveat emptor.

At preschool, they used a guy named Mr. Funny. I don't know his family, but a more auspicious name for a good child photographer there could not be. Sure, he ran into walls a lot, but all the kids laughed and we got some awesome pictures of Lil'E from his handiwork (see right). This year Lil'er E will benefit from exposure to his shutter, but it seems that big sis will be left out to rot by The Cheese Man.

Oh, and did I forget to mention the rash? Yes, Lil'E has had a cold, and recovering from the viral infection she has gotten a little rash. It is right above her upper lip and on her cheek. She's five, and she looks broke out like a teenager. On Picture Day! She even said this morning that she didn't like the way she looked - poor girl.

About the title - if you don't know, that is a chapter from a Junie B. Jones book, and it seemed apropos. What, you've never heard of Junie B. Jones? She is the star of a series of books by Barbara Parks, following the exploits of a girl in kindergarten (and now 1^st grade). She is everychild, and Lil'E loves the books. Some parents may not like the way the Junie B. acts (okay, most wouldn't) but it is realistic of kids that age and provides moments when we can point out good and bad behavior and actually have Lil'E listen to us. We were introduced by a book on CD from a Wendy's kids meal. Below you can listen to Chapter 1, "The Cheese Man", from Junie B. Jones Has A Monster Under Her Bed. Just try not to laugh.


Tags: School Pictures, Photographer, Bad Day, Barbara Park, Junie B. Jones, Kids Books

So as I walked out from work today to the sound of gunfire, I thought to myself . . .

. . . what a beautiful day this is. Really, since Hurricane Ike blew through we've had just really great weather here in Houston. The skies have been blue, the temperature has been lower, even the humidity has been down the last two weeks! Aside from the mosquitoes, which are swarming thick enough to drain an elephant in less than a minute's time, it's been practically perfect.

I, however, am a totally hopeless goofball. AKA engineer. For example, this morning after I got into work I encountered a minor setback in the clothing arena - the button popped off my pants. All I have to say is thanks be to God for belts! Of course, being an engineer, I found a solution to get me through the day. Enter life's little fix-it device: the paperclip. While the belt helped I looked really goofy with the pants trying to come apart, so I used a paperclip (in lieu of the safety pin I didn't have but wished I did) to keep the top of my pants relatively close together. So I traded one goofy look for another, hopefully less noticeable, goofy look. You see, Euphrony has not informed you, but he has been packing on a few pounds lately. And been in denial of needing bigger pants. Lesson learned.

(Oh, are you wondering about the title of this post? Absolutely true. It happens just about every day, as a matter of fact. When I don't have the small-arms fire, I listen to the lovely squeal of tires. I guess you might be worried about my safety, but don't be; I'm well protected working next door to the police academy.)

You can find anything on Craigslist

Seriously, any takers?

It's almost 7:00 pm around here and the wind is gusting up. One minute it'll be totally calm and the next the wind hits at 50 mph! About an hour ago we took a walk as a family - nice evening, all things considered. After that I got out to see if Sonic was open (wasn't) and ended up stopping at a gas station to pick up some fountain drinks and ice cream (the necessities). Around 10% of the houses are boarded up, and 5% of the cars on the road are cops.

We're ready for the worst, but I expect things won't get too bad. Plenty of water, from an unexpected place even. The stores have been crazy busy - I should have taken a picture of the lines 30 people deep to checkout at Kroger and Wal-Mart - but I noticed that Specs Liquor Warehouse was open. They had plenty of 1.5-liter bottles of water for 90¢ each, and no line to check out. Not a bad deal.

I'll take pics and keep people updated on our situation, as long as we have power. For now I'm going to work on getting kids in bed. It looks like Austin is staring to get the same type of winds right now that we've been getting all day here - enjoy the breeze!

Everyone sleep well. TTFN!

Tags: Hurricane Ike, Craigslist

Little Euphrony's brush with greatness

So we're two weeks into kindergarten around here. So far, Lil'E is loving it! She's been having fun, making new friends, and behaving herself for her teacher - she even got to get a prize on Friday because she's gone two weeks staying on green. (The class runs a behavior system similar to the color-coded system that Homeland security uses. Green is best behavior, the yellow, orange, blue, and red - on red you go to the principal.) One of her new friends is a girl in her class; in the first two weeks of school she has been on orange three or four times (we get daily reports from Lil'E, like an intelligence agency). What do you do as a kindergartener to get in that much trouble the first two weeks of school? We've mixed feelings about Lil'E's further association with such a "troublemaker".

But maybe we know where the trouble comes from. You see, we're thinking that maybe this little girl is a prima donna. Lil'E (our spy) has informed us that this girl has been on Hannah Montana! She's a bona fide young star - even the teacher recognized her from the show. Now, we don't think she's a regular, because we can't find her name anyway on the cast lists - probably just an extra. But we are left to guess that the stardom has gone to her head.

It's interesting, though. Lil'E doesn't watch Hannah Montana - we think she's a little too young for it - but she's a bit fascinated since she sees and hears about it everywhere. This little girl has been teaching Lil'E the inside stuff of how they act on the show. So now she comes home, very smugly, and tells us "I know all about Hannah Montana." Yep, she's showed us.

Things that should be funny, but for one reason or another just aren't

This is funny, but the third frame rings a little too true to laugh at.


How do pool filters work?

Finally, incontrovertible proof of original sin

Here it is.

As I gave out snacks at VBS tonight, with children inhaling these sour, sugar coated sugar sticks, I consumed one of these abominations. Anyone who could come up with something so vile-tasting must surely be steeped in sin from birth.

I would say that Sour Patch straws are from the Devil!

And you know what the Devil is without the "d"? EVIL! And this candy is evil!

And you know what evil is without the "e"? VIL! And, as I said, these things are vile!

And you know what vil is without the "v"? IL! And these things will make you ill if you eat them!

And you know what il is without the "i"? L! And, if God grants mercy, these detestable candies will all be burned up in L!

Things I've learned in Tennessee

Well, we finally made it home today. After 1750 miles, ~85 gallons of gas, 3 billion hours in the car, and more lapses in sanity than I can count, we're resting in our own beds tonight. Okay, so it wasn't that bad - but Lil'er E did wake up at 4:00 this morning and never went back to sleep, so we're all a little exhausted tonight.

On a different note, here are a few things I've learned while we've been visiting in Tennessee.

1. Tennessee has a lot more hills than Texas. Okay, so that's not so profound; but that does not mean its not true. Sure, Texas does have the Hill Country, but Houston is a coastal town and the biggest hills are the speed bumps in parking lots. Where I grew up in West Texas is even flatter (what flies out of your mouth when you sneeze from the dust significantly alters the elevation of the landscape there). So, I got used to driving up-hill everywhere I went - and the old joke of walking to school in the snow up-hill both ways actually makes some sense, now.
2. It's harder to play the driving alphabet game in Tennessee than in Texas. You know, the game where you have to find a letter on a road sign (using cars is definitely cheating). All because of one letter - "Q". In Texas, you can find a "q" every five minutes, as you pass the next Dairy Queen. They don't call it the Texas Stop Sign for nothin'! But, alas, it's not the Tennessee stop sign. We spent an hour trying to find a "q", and nearly gave up hope and quit in the process.
3. I've never before attended such a cool fireworks display. Oh, I've seen better fireworks, but temperature wise it was actually bearable to be outside to watch them. The July weather in Tennessee was quite pleasant, nice even, never getting above the upper 80s while we were there. This is compared to the hotter-than-hades July 4th celebrations I'm used to enduring. I'm sure, of course, that it gets hotter there in August; but in Houston in August people are known to pray for a quick death before having to go outside. It ain't pretty here (but there it was).
4. There are some mighty nice people who live in Tennessee. We had a great time with our old friends in Jackson, and we got to spend a couple of nice days with another set of old friends in Memphis. And of course there are some very nice people in Nashville, as well. We had the chance to eat a little pizza with Brody and Kristin and their three boys. We did not have the chance to meet with Stephen or Chaotic Hammer, though - maybe the next time we are in the same geographic region we'll have more time.
5. Other parents have some funny stories about their kids. I mean, really funny. So I mentioned our friends in Memphis. They have two boys about the age our my kids. We spent the 4th riding the trolley through downtown Memphis (past Beale, saw the site of MLK's assassination, etc.). They told us, though, about their oldest boy's growing curiosity about the differences between his own equipment and daddy's. Then they told us about finding him, with a black marker, drawing pubic hair on himself and his little brother - to be more like daddy. (This space is intentionally left blank for your laughter.)

Well, we'll talk more once I've slept tonight. And maybe tomorrow night. And the night after that, too. Pictures will be forthcoming, as well.

Do you have any good memories of Tennessee?

At Sea

When we last saw Euphrony, he was meandering about Tennessee catching fireflies with his daughter at a friends house. He is still in Tennessee, not on a cruise.

So how many of you know what it means when you say someone is at sea? Besides referring to taking a cruise it can also mean that a person is totally clueless, lost as it were. Apparently, that can be said of a certain engineer on vacation right now.

Go ahead and laugh at me. I'm mentally disengaged. My thought processes couldn't decipher simple algebra, much less the complexities of packing for two adults and two children for a ten-day trip. Yep, the logistics have failed me.

First, a simple thing. I left the kids swim gear at home. No swim suits, no swim toys, no goggles - nothing. Not a terribly unusual occurrence, but it did take me three full days to figure it out. But that's not the worst. Oh no, not by far.

Part of our grand planning was to wash clothes in the middle of our trip. Pack less, much easier. Until I leave our dirty laundry bag at my friends house in Jackson - a two hours drive from Nashville (where we are now). Oh well, so much for planning. Maybe next time my brain will vacation with me (I hope so, at least). For now we'll make due with what we have and be thankful that we're driving back through Jackson in a couple of days on our way home. Clothes will be recovered, and we will survive.

Unless my brain slips into a deeper coma, that is.

Till then, check out the bloggers for the 40 Day Fast - Lorijo talking about justice in Peru and Fayola talking about clean water. Tomorrow is Licia, a nurse in Haiti (I can't read her blog without copious tears), and Chris, talking about Kiva and microfinancing. Go read their blogs today.

A minor correction . . .

I noted last week a few small details about my life. Specifically, I mentioned that Liler'E was cutting two new teeth - both molars. That statement bears correction.

A review of the facts are in. A recount has been conducted. Hanging chads and dimples were examined for intent.

Liler'E is not, in fact, getting two new teeth.

The accurate count (from Price Waterhouse Cooper, none the less) is four teeth - two molars and two incisors - in a one week time frame. Said child is now closely resembling a shark; I nearly lost my arm below the elbow tonight. Two separate shoes were gnawed to nubs, as well. I'm thinking of getting a chewy dog bone for him.

In other news, the Euphrony's have been a little grouchy this holiday weekend. It seems that our water heater went out Friday night. Conveniently, this was just in time for everything to shut down for the long weekend. Cold showers for everyone! This is the third time in two years it has gone out on me and I'm ready to say so long to this dog. I'm thinking about a tankless water heater, even if they are more expensive initially (about twice as much as a normal water heater, plus installation). I'll make the final decision in the morning and should have hot water by Thursday night.

Also, by way of correction, it is a water heater and not a hot water heater. The later is somewhat redundant, even if most people say it this way.

It could be worse, though. I read that other people have plumbing problems that are harder to fix than my simple water heater. For example, the only toilet on the space station is on the fritz. They're currently using baggies (and I hope they have plenty). Also, fighter pilots have long had a problem with going on the go. The standard has been to use a "piddle pack", but they may have a better solution now. It involves chemical geling! Ain't science fun?

Well there's your problem!

So Liler'E has not been sleeping so well the last few nights. Fussy, waking up crying, over and over again. I was playing with him Monday night, got him to laughing, and saw some new white spots in his mouth. Molars. Plural. Two new molars breaking through soft gums at the same time. Well, know we know. This brings him to eight teeth, and I can only imagine what this will allow him to eat now. Without molars he was already doing a good job of eating whole hot dogs, apples (not sliced), and bananas and oranges by the truckload. Now I fully expect whole cows to fall prey to these choppers.

In other news, Liler'E was not waking me up with his crying, seeing as how I was not asleep in the first place. Major insomnia going on here. Last night I was up till 3 am. Night before was 1 am. Friday night I only managed about two hours. Don't know what's going on. I guess I can sleep when I die, right?

The following is an open letter, but specifically for the neighbor lady at the end of our block:

To Whom it May Concern:
The trials of homeownership are many. Chores must be done, leaks fixed, yards tended. At times many try to do too many things at one time; rare is the homeowner who has not been caught in the shower or changing clothes when the phone rang or a timer went off. This is part of the rigors of life in the 'burbs.

There are, however, occasions when time should be taken to complete a task at hand before rushing to attend to the next pressing matter. For example, while the water may need to be moved, so as not to flood part of your lawn or flowerbeds, time should be taken to dress properly. Rushing out in a baggy tee shirt that comes far short of covering your pink-pantie clad rump as you work to move the sprinklers is exactly the kind of situation we want to avoid. Please, for the sake of the neighbors - for the sake of the children - put some pants on.

Sincerely,
The Euphrony Family

The tax man cometh . . .

And the tax man taketh away. Have you turned your tax forms in yet? You still have nine hours to get to the post office, so hurry!



(Don't forget, there is only one day left to enter my odd-word usage contest for a chance to win a $10 iTunes gift card. Go read the word list and submit your entry sentence(s) now! If I don't get at least five people entering the contest, I call the whole thing off and keep the iTunes for myself, so encourage your friends.)

Tags: Hagar the Horrible, Taxes

Talk about your feelings of inadequacy . . .

So at the end of this week I'll be headed up to Boston for a couple of days. What will I be doing while I'm in ol' Bean-town? Teaching some folks at MIT, of course. While I'm up north (going from highs around 80°F in balmy Houston to highs of around 40°F in frigid Massachusetts) I'll be learning a little and teaching a little about the oilfield.

Okay, I still can't say that without getting a little weak in the knees.

Maybe you're thinking, "But Euphrony, I thought you were an expert in the field of drilling fluid rheology! What do you have to worry about?" What, indeed? I may know my stuff, kinda, but I'm going to be talking to people who know there stuff, as well. I feel a little like ol' Wile E. Coyote up there - a genius in his own right, but woefully inadequate to the task at hand. So I'll be going up to MIT (a place so genius that they refuse to take themselves too seriously, even in the small things like quirky messages appearing when resizing the online campus map) and converse with a professor and a few of his students in relation to a couple of papers we are coauthoring. Oh, there I go again, feeling unbalanced in the face of working as equals with a professor who is a bit of a legend in his field. I guess I'll get over it, eventually.

So, I'll be in Boston a couple of days. I should have a little free time one evening (it was $600 cheaper to stay an extra night than fly back early) - any suggestions on what I must hit while I'm there? Remember, I'll be either on foot or in a cab, it will be raining and near-freezing, and I'm a deep-Texas boy.

Tags: MIT, Boston, Inadequacy, Teaching

Confessional Questionnaire

I know it is what you've all been waiting for:

The Official Euphrony Confessional Questionnaire:
January 2008 Edition^©

Thank you for joining me in this little adventure into complete honesty and total humiliation. You will answer promptly and truthfully. Employing the mysteries of the internet and quasi-legal surveillance technology, I have included a lie detector in this post - you will be found out. Feel free to mock those who answer before you, with full knowledge that you will in turn be mocked.

1) Have you ever, as an adult, gone to public places in your pajamas?

2) Have you ever fallen asleep at a live event (movie, theater, concert)?

3) When was the last time you flossed you teeth? (Remember: be honest!)

4) Have you ever stalked a famous person, in person or on-line, even for just a minute?

5) When did your teachers finally decide that your handwriting was acceptable? (Bonus points for those who were critiqued through college.)

6) Have you ever watched PBS without contributing? "And if you watch one minute without contributing, you're a thief! A common thief!"

7) Do you know the source for that last quote?

8) Do you tend to associate these behaviors with others more closely than yourself? (Seek professional help, NOW!)

Shhhhh

Don't tell anyone, but I'm a sinner person of foibles. I may be the last one left these days, at least since the seven deadly sins were discounted to the status of mental disorders treatable through counseling. Don't let my friends know; they may mock me.

Tags: Seven Deadly Sins, Foibles, Sarcasm, Confession

(NOTE: I'm not at all saying that things like counseling, or treatment for mental disorders are bad. I probably need both just for posting this. This is more a commentary on the secrecy of our lives, and the excuses we make for our actions in an attempt to distort the reality of their import and shirk our onus to overcome them.)