The quandary of Christian indemnification

I don't know if you have followed the story at all, but Mary Winkler appeared on yesterday's Oprah, talking about her conviction, her freedom, and her life. As a reminder, Mary Winkler is the woman who shot and killed her husband, Matthew, in May 2006 and fled with their three daughters to the beach. Matthew Winkler was the well-liked preacher at a small Church of Christ in Selmer, Tennessee; the defense that Mary presented shattered the perceptions of those who knew this couple. I have followed this story over the last year with some interest: I, too, grew up in a small Church of Christ in Abilene and my uncle, many years ago, preached with Matthew Winkler's grandfather. I could know this family, seen in a hundred others I've known in my life.

First, let me make it clear that I don't want to debate the conviction and sentence that she received: the courts evaluated the case, based on evidence, and decided that a charge of intent to kill was not appropriate; thus, manslaughter and the relatively light sentence (which, incidentally, Mary Winkler herself told Oprah was too lenient). This decision was made by people who did not have a vested interest in the case or in the people, but rather in the law, and I will trust and accept their wisdom. Clear? No rants from anyone (regulars or visitors) about how she should be locked away for decades, or the abysmal state of the American Justice system. If you want that, go somewhere else. Now. Thanks.

What I do want to discuss is something that I see going on in the aftermath, and how these actions pertain to the calling of Christ's disciples. (This case simply serves as a convenient example, but we've seen it happen in many others as well.) What is occurring, and what commonly occurs, is the family of the victim, Matthew Winkler's parents, are seeking to terminate her parental rights and are suing for $2 million in a wrongful death case. Basically, what it comes down to is that they are, intentionally or unintentionally, trying to make it impossible for her to move on with life. And this is an understandable reaction: their son is gone, even the image they held of him is broken by testimony in court, and all this was done by one of the people they trusted most. In a similar circumstance, I am confident that I would also have the strong desire to act in a similar manner. But, what I ask myself is this: should I, as a Christian, seek this kind of redress?

What cause do we, as Christians, have seeking punitive damages? The sin of the criminal action is (or should hopefully be) dealt with in a criminal proceeding. To my (imperfect) understanding, what passes in civil courts seems to fall squarely under application of such biblical commands such as found in Luke 6:27-36

²⁷"But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, ²⁸bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. ²⁹"Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either. ³⁰"Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. ³¹"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. ³²"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. ³³"If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. ³⁴"If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount. ³⁵"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. ³⁶"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

Where, I ask myself, does indemnification fit into such teaching? How can we righteously scream "Make 'em pay!"?

Time and time again, I read news of a criminal given a long sentence or having his life taken for his crimes, and see that the victim's families are there nodding approval. It is rare, indeed, to find the families offer true forgiveness and sorrow over where the criminal's life has taken him. So I ask, where do our actions transition from pursuit of justice to pursuit of vengeance?

Does forgiveness end? All good Christians know the Lord's Prayer "Forgive us our sins, as we forgive others", and so we readily offer forgiveness. But does that forgiveness include forgetfulness? Are we willing to remove the stigma of an offense committed and truly accept with love a brother or sister? In this case, the Winkler's do not seem to be able to do this, as they seek to forever terminate Mary Winkler's parental rights. I don't know their motivations, and I realize that wise actions do include limitations (don't give a drunk a drink is the common example). But is this not, at it's basis, also a denial of complete forgiveness? Does God tell us "I forgive you, but I'll never trust or use you again"?

We ask of a person actions demonstrative of remorse (repentance) when they have committed a wrong. In fact, a big part of the lenient sentence for Mary Winkler was her sorrow over the death, whereas many others are tried much more harshly because they lack remorse. But, do we also ask for proof that they will never sin again before extending our trust and forgiveness? I think, often, that we do just that, judging their hearts to justify our own. This is as true for the murderer as it is for the panhandler on the street corner. We decide on their worthiness for mercy and grace, and we act in accordance with our desires to force them to be different - sinless, perfect, or at least trying really hard. But that's not who we are asked to serve: the Christian should love and serve their enemies as readily and joyfully as though loving and serving their Lord.

One final question I have is this: How should Christians seek to defend themselves? Even more basic than this is should we defend ourselves at all? I spoke about living the life of Isaac recently. He never defended himself, stood up for his rights or his property. No, he just moved on; Jehovah was with him wherever he went, not in the lands where Isaac had been but in Isaac himself. So I find myself questioning the righteousness of any type of suit for redress, be it against a believer (as Paul chastised the Corinthians for) or against an unbeliever.

I have many opinions on these questions, some more recently developed than others. But none are so firmly held that I will not reevaluate my theology in light of God's word and will. Elucidate me - what do you feel about these questions? More importantly, what do you believe is God's will in these matters (beyond personal feelings)?

Tags: Mary Winkler, Punishment, Retribution, Forgiveness, Forgetfulness, Remorse, Repentance, Justice, Vengeance