The mighty iPhone. To some a symbol of pure excess. To others, an invaluable tool for everyday life. To others still, its a new way to make rude noises.
Apple, famously, discourages people from hacking the iPhone - as a way to us it with a different wireless provider than AT&T or as a means to write your own apps. They have all the apps you would ever need, they say, in many a recent commercial. View an MRI - there's an app for that. Drink a virtual brew - yep, there's an app for that. Digital flatulence - they got you covered!
This video is from some people at the Houston Chronicle. It made me laugh.
Do you use an iPhoney or a CrackBerry? Or are you more simple than that?
Tags: iPhone, Apps
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
There's an app for that?
Posted by
euphrony
at
10:05 AM
4
rambling comments
Labels: Humor, Miscellanea, Question for the audience, Sarcasm, Things even I don't understand, Things I find patently absurd
Friday, November 14, 2008
101 reasons to learn a lesson
This past Wednesday, at work, I received 101 lessons as to why people should learn a lesson. Specifically, I received 100 lessons from people who did not learn the lesson from the first person's mistake.
On Wednesday morning, my work e-mail received what would seem to have been a spam e-mail. It was one that we had been recently warned about, appearing to originate from someone within the company and asking to have access granted to various security systems. Having been both forewarned and armed with the knowledge that I had no business granting such access, I deleted the e-mail.
The the first lesson came. In the form of a reply to the original e-mail by a person questioning why they were sent the e-mail. Of course, this person hit "reply all", thus sending it to everyone. Isn't it annoying when someone blindly uses "reply all" like that?
Ah, but then the real fun started rolling in. Over the next four or five hours I continued to receive e-mails from people protesting their inability to perform such a task and the likelihood that they were sent the original e-mail by mistake. All of them hit "reply all". I also got e-mails from people who were begging people to stop using "reply all", who also (naturally) had hit "reply all". The best of these was sent in a eye-catching blue, 100 point font - to everyone. In total, 101 "reply all's" were sent out. To everyone.
Oh, and when I say it was sent to everyone, I mean to everyone. Every single employee of this great company for which I work. All 38,000 (give or take) employees. All of it internal e-mail. I could practically smell our e-mail server melting from here. Other e-mails took significantly longer to get through the system. If it weren't so comedic and absurd, it would be downright frustrating.
Anyway, I survived without becoming e-mail cannon fodder. Either people finally wised up (unlikely) or the IT group put a block on everything related to this e-mail chain (more likely).
So, what's the record for the number of "reply all" junk e-mails for you?
Posted by
euphrony
at
11:49 AM
5
rambling comments
Labels: Feeble attempts at humor, Question for the audience, Rambling, Sarcasm, Technology
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Someone listened to me! (I'm shocked)
In May I complained about the idiotic following of good guidelines for giving a presentation. The past two days I have spent with the same university group as they gave their fall update on projects (which my and other companies kindly pay for). Apparently somebody read my blog and got the point because only the professors and one or two new students followed the format so rigidly that it was comedic.
What a relief.
It made the nine hour day bearable. Even when half of the presentations involved finite element analysis. Now if I could only get them to move into reality and stop using such ridiculously idealized test systems. Maybe that's asking to much, though.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
An idea for a new life application note
You know how all the specialized bibles these days have little sidebars where they give some kind of life application of the scripture? Well, in that vein I have a suggestion based on the observations of Lil'E tonight.
The Situation: Euphrony is driving the Little E's home after Lil'E's dance class at the YMCA. A black Camry (remarkably antithetical to Euphrony's white Camry) pulls out into the turn lane and proceeds (with utter disregard to the presence of my car) to pull into my lane and nearly hit me. When Lil'E asks what happened I tell her which car nearly hit ours.
The Application: Lil'E wisely comments "I know what kind of car that is. Do you know what kind of car it is, dad? It's a tax collector!" Since ancient Jews seemed to think all tax collectors were evil, then it is reasonable to believe that all people who do bad things are tax collectors. Right?
I don't know how biblical this really is, but it sure seems profound to me. Words to live by. And remember, whenever a car almost crashes into your own it may well be a tax collector. And beware when you drive of acting like a tax collector and driving recklessly. Or collecting taxes.
Posted by
euphrony
at
6:35 PM
4
rambling comments
Labels: Children, Little Euphrony, Rambling, Sarcasm, Things even I don't understand
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Vigilantes on the prowl
They stalk the highways and byways of America. They do not respect age or location or position. No fence is a deterrent, no wall to high. The weapons they carry are well-used and ever-ready.
Only one thing is sacred to these people - the English language. And woe be to he who dares misuse it on a public sign.
Have you heard about these two? They call themselves the Typo Eradication Advancement League (TEAL for short), but most people just call them the typo vigilantes. Their mission, since earlier this year, is to go around the country and correct - with or without permission - the errata found on signage everywhere. Below is a sample of them at "work". Be it the missing apostrophe, misspelled word, over-used comma, or poor grammar, they will find a way to correct it with tape, white-out, and magic marker.
I first read about these guys earlier this year when I was in Boston (the hometown of one of the two). They've been featured on NPR and the subject of several interviews. Their latest interviewer was, unfortunately for them, a judge. Apparently, people didn't take too kindly to their correction of mistakes on a hand-drawn sign at the Grand Canyon. It seems there their handiwork has landed them a fine, parole, and a one-year ban from all national parks or correction of any public signs. Alas, it seems the government frowns upon correction of its mistakes, especially in historic settings.
What do you think of these guys and their mission? Are they, as the Chicago Tribune called them, "a pair of Kerouacs armed with Sharpies and erasers and righteous indignation"? Or are they yahoos with too much time on their hands? More important, what would you do if you found them correcting your sign?
Tags: Typo, Sign, Grand Canyon, Man on a Mission
Posted by
euphrony
at
2:44 PM
8
rambling comments
Labels: In the news, Miscellanea, Question for the audience, Rambling, Sarcasm, Things even I don't understand
Friday, June 06, 2008
Dead giveaway
I've received this spam a couple of times recently, but the subject in this one stuck out. FYI, Mr. Spamalot, this contains a dead giveaway that it is not legit:
We are pleased to inform you that upon reviewing yourSorry, we in the U.S.A. use a decimal point, not a comma like they do in other places. Do try again (not), but thanks for the small amusement! Oh, yeah, the tax ID you listed as mine doesn't is wrong; sorry, but that's another giveaway.
fiscal activity, we have determined that you are eligible to
receive a tax refund of $429,54.
Posted by
euphrony
at
10:59 AM
1 rambling comments
Labels: In the news, Sarcasm
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
The Package, or My Foray Into The World Of International Smuggling
So I've not been much into posting lately. I'm alive. I'm well. I'm busy. Dance recitals, swim meets, preschool graduation, birthday parties (pictures to come). I've also been looking over my shoulder the last week, on the lam so to speak, because I have recently earned the nickname "Captain Contraband" at work. Yep, I'm an international smuggler.
Not that I set out to smuggle; its not like I woke up one morning and said "Self, you're getting nowhere with this 'rheology' farce. Give it up and start earning some real money on the global black market. Then you can earn enough to buy that vacation house working part-time from home, just like those people on TV." No, like most people, I just stumbled into it rather blindly.
I've got a coworker, you see, who is Chinese. He's home for a month in China, taking care of some family business; while he's there, though, he's talking to some chemical suppliers and getting me some samples for a current research project. Here's where the trouble comes in. You know all that stuff you here about the global market and the Chinese beginning to dominate it, sometimes through shady practices? For example, how many kid toys have you thrown away in the last year because of lead content? Well, the complaints are little exaggerated.
I got the samples I was wanting, through a shipper. Below is a picture of what was labeled as "PVC Carpeting Samples".
The problem - I didn't ask for PVC anything. In fact, I was expecting a black powder (hint: you'd find it in roads). So I'm thinking two things: 1) I'll take these home and use them for a mat for the kids to play on and 2) They probably hid my samples inside these packages. BING BING BING BING BING BING! Give the man a prize!
Ah, there's my black powder, tucked inside a hidden pocket in the innocuous "PVC Carpeting". Conveniently shipped without proper safety information, proper hazard notification to the shipper, and likely avoiding high shipping costs and customs delays.
Just look at that little pocket. What could have been secreted in there? Cash? Coke? A popular poppy product? A statuette of Jesus made out of cocaine? Plastic forks? Plastic explosives? The possibilities are endless.
So, I spent a little time last week documenting this arrival. Talked to my boss. Talked to my Chinese coworker to let him know what they did. Tried to make sure that the chemical supplier knows we don't do business this way. So far, no visits from men in uniforms with hats and guns, so I'm probably safe. But if I do disappear, you'll know that Homeland Security has me and someone needs to help Mrs. E and the kids with legal bills.
In other news, I've been tasked recently with pricing and arranging demos for a new microscope for the lab. I didn't have the final decision in which one we got, I just did the leg work. And now that we've selected one, I'm the one getting pestering and even angry calls from the people whose microscopes were not selected. It feels really good to be made the scape goat, ya know.
How's your week been?
Tags: Chinese products, Smuggling, Shipping
Posted by
euphrony
at
2:40 PM
5
rambling comments
Labels: Euphrony, Miscellanea, Rambling, Rant, Sarcasm, Things I know I should not have done but did anyway
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
A minor correction . . .
I noted last week a few small details about my life. Specifically, I mentioned that Liler'E was cutting two new teeth - both molars. That statement bears correction.
A review of the facts are in. A recount has been conducted. Hanging chads and dimples were examined for intent.
Liler'E is not, in fact, getting two new teeth.
The accurate count (from Price Waterhouse Cooper, none the less) is four teeth - two molars and two incisors - in a one week time frame. Said child is now closely resembling a shark; I nearly lost my arm below the elbow tonight. Two separate shoes were gnawed to nubs, as well. I'm thinking of getting a chewy dog bone for him.
In other news, the Euphrony's have been a little grouchy this holiday weekend. It seems that our water heater went out Friday night. Conveniently, this was just in time for everything to shut down for the long weekend. Cold showers for everyone! This is the third time in two years it has gone out on me and I'm ready to say so long to this dog. I'm thinking about a tankless water heater, even if they are more expensive initially (about twice as much as a normal water heater, plus installation). I'll make the final decision in the morning and should have hot water by Thursday night.
Also, by way of correction, it is a water heater and not a hot water heater. The later is somewhat redundant, even if most people say it this way.
It could be worse, though. I read that other people have plumbing problems that are harder to fix than my simple water heater. For example, the only toilet on the space station is on the fritz. They're currently using baggies (and I hope they have plenty). Also, fighter pilots have long had a problem with going on the go. The standard has been to use a "piddle pack", but they may have a better solution now. It involves chemical geling! Ain't science fun?
Posted by
euphrony
at
10:10 PM
0
rambling comments
Labels: Children, Feeble attempts at humor, Littler Euphrony, Rambling, Sarcasm, Sleepy
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Well there's your problem!
So Liler'E has not been sleeping so well the last few nights. Fussy, waking up crying, over and over again. I was playing with him Monday night, got him to laughing, and saw some new white spots in his mouth. Molars. Plural. Two new molars breaking through soft gums at the same time. Well, know we know. This brings him to eight teeth, and I can only imagine what this will allow him to eat now. Without molars he was already doing a good job of eating whole hot dogs, apples (not sliced), and bananas and oranges by the truckload. Now I fully expect whole cows to fall prey to these choppers.
In other news, Liler'E was not waking me up with his crying, seeing as how I was not asleep in the first place. Major insomnia going on here. Last night I was up till 3 am. Night before was 1 am. Friday night I only managed about two hours. Don't know what's going on. I guess I can sleep when I die, right?
The following is an open letter, but specifically for the neighbor lady at the end of our block:
To Whom it May Concern:
The trials of homeownership are many. Chores must be done, leaks fixed, yards tended. At times many try to do too many things at one time; rare is the homeowner who has not been caught in the shower or changing clothes when the phone rang or a timer went off. This is part of the rigors of life in the 'burbs.
There are, however, occasions when time should be taken to complete a task at hand before rushing to attend to the next pressing matter. For example, while the water may need to be moved, so as not to flood part of your lawn or flowerbeds, time should be taken to dress properly. Rushing out in a baggy tee shirt that comes far short of covering your pink-pantie clad rump as you work to move the sprinklers is exactly the kind of situation we want to avoid. Please, for the sake of the neighbors - for the sake of the children - put some pants on.
Sincerely,
The Euphrony Family
Posted by
euphrony
at
1:25 PM
2
rambling comments
Labels: Euphrony, Family, Feeble attempts at humor, Littler Euphrony, Rambling, Sarcasm, Things I should have run by Mrs. E first
Thursday, May 15, 2008
How I spent my Monday
This pretty well sums it up, if expanded over nine hours. I will be taking questions at the end.
Posted by
euphrony
at
1:11 PM
4
rambling comments
Labels: Miscellanea, Rambling, Sarcasm, Sleepy
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Puke N' Pass©: The Family Game of Infectious Disease Exchange
Come on and try the new family game sensation! Everyone is playing it! Your kids will love it! Once you start playing, you'll never stop! It's Puke N' Pass©! You start the game when someone in the family plays with some other person - knowingly or unknowingly - and comes how to introduce the rest of the family to the game.
Once home, one of your children will immediately pick up on the game. Then the real fun begins! You get all the perks - fever, cough, sneezing, runny nose, puking. As an added bonus, the game also comes with whining, crying, fits over medicine and doctor visits, and sleepless nights!
But wait, there's more!
This is the family game, after all. And what is a family game if you don't have the whole family play? When you play Puke N' Pass©, you automatically get the whole gang in the game. No fighting to find time to sit around a table together. No tokens or fake money to keep track of. And, best of all, no cheating is possible because there is only one rule to this game: get sick or stay well. And like Monopoly, this game really never ends. You can play for weeks and weeks - even while your doing other activities - and still not reach the end of the game!
Call now! Supplies are not limited, but you simply can't wait to play. Come by and shake my hand and you and your whole family can start playing Puke N' Pass© just like my kids have been. Don't wait! You don't want to miss out on this kind of fun!
Posted by
euphrony
at
12:00 PM
2
rambling comments
Labels: Children, Helpful hints, Rambling, Sarcasm, Sleepy