Lil'E is growing up

So the other night at bedtime, Lil'E run's downstairs is is very excited about something.

Lil'E: Guess what! My bottom's big enough now that I don't have to use that thing on the potty!
Mrs. E and I: ? ? ? What . . .
Lil'E: That white thing. I don't have to use it anymore!
Me: Do you mean the toilet seat!?!
Lil'E: Yes! The white thing you put your bottom on! I'm big enought that I don't need it!
Mrs. E: Sweetie, that's the toilet seat. Everyone uses it. Mommy's bottom is much bigger than your's and I still use it. You always need to use it!
Lil'E: Oh, okay. (but still confused as to why)

I must say that I've never heard women so freely discuss the size of their bottom's before. I'm still laughing at this who episode.

The Stay Puft Marshmallow Santa

Really, this is pretty much just plain wrong. Check it out - a 25' (or 30', it's at least as tall as that two-story house) inflatable Santa! I'm calling Dr. Venkman. And The Cachinnator, because I know how much he loves these things.


What's your opinion of this - holiday cheer or monstrosity?

Tags: Santa, Inflatable, Giant

Lil'E wrote a rock song last night

So there I was last night, home alone with the kids, playing with my five-year old daughter while my 18-month old son wreaked havoc about the living room. Her chosen game, as usual, involved some sort of humanoid construction of plastic and cloth - in this case, they were the American Idol dolls from Happy Meal toys that came out in the recent past. You raise the arm holding a mike to their face and music plays. Rock on!

Also natural to this playtime, Lil'E decided we had to put on a show (by we I of course mean the toys whose persona's we had assumed). We had to put on a rock show and sing rock songs. Being the naïve parent, I knew no rock songs; but the world-wise kindergartener knows all. She bust out with an original offering that went something like this:

I am singing my rock song
And I've got my rock hair
And I'm wearing my rock clothes

Apparently, if one says the word "rock" enough times in a song then it is by definition a rock song. And it doesn't hurt to yell the words when you sing.

Read more . . .
Don't you love kids? Their ideas so simple, so straightforward, set out so that everyone can understand and join in - after all, the more the merrier when it comes to playtime, right? Maybe I should get her to set down these lyrics for Shaun so he can get back on the charts? (To be fair, he's already got the hair and clothes.)

Here's where I switch subjects on you, in a way. I can look at Lil'E's great effort at making a rock song and recognize it as simplistic, childish even, for insisting that it is the use of the word "rock" that makes it a "rock song". Can you guess where I'm going with this? Yep, I'm thinking about "Christian music".

I was recently reminded how, to many people, a song cannot be called "Christian" unless it uses (frequently) the name of God or Jesus. That's right, they're using the same definition as is my five-year old girl for how to classify a song. Funny how in one case it can seem like an inane, senseless definition but in the other it is deadly serious. Which is which in the last sentence? Which application is inane and which accurate? Both are in the eye of the beholder, so should both be taken seriously?

For Lil'E, when I started singing a song and didn't say the word "rock" within ten seconds I got buzzed and corrected. The same standard applies for the person who believes that only in through explicitly evoking the name of God can you be talking about God. Do a web search and I'm sure you can find a host of people who talk about Christian artists like MercyMe and Michael W. Smith (or fill in the blank) being of the devil because they don't say "Jesus" enough (or a host of other reasons). As if intoning a word or phrase distinguishes between carnal and holy. I think Jesus actually said something about that, along the lines of calling on His name does not guarantee salvation. But we still insist on the trappings, the formula, as though it will lead to salvation in and of itself.

Of course, there are nice examples in the bible that would fail the "does he say Jesus enough" test. Take the classic Psalm 1, beautiful and well known, often quoted, and only gets around to mentioning the Lord at the very end. Were that a modern worship song it would find criticism for only putting in God's name as an afterthought; but as it is a Psalm (capital "P") it is accepted. Or, of course, there's the whole book of Song of Songs with nary a mention of God in it - but it is considered canonical. We could even talk about Paul and Philippians 4:13 - "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." You may be thinking you remember it as "through Christ who gives me strength" but this is the KJV, and the early manuscripts do not have Paul saying "Christ" but "him". His intent is unmistakable, nevertheless, and we know that it is Jehovah who gives us that strength, be it through His word, the Spirit, Christ, or even through His body on earth. Paul did not narrow his definition, likely for a reason, but we do to seek comfort in formula.

Anyway, I'm not too sure why I got off on this topic. Maybe Lil'E's song got me to thinking about simplistic definitions and the vitriolic websites I've seen passing judgment (in flashing, multi-colored, 128-pt font) on others for things such as this. The song Lil'E sang was nice, though - I really liked it.

Tags: Christian Music, CCM, Rock Music, American Idol Toys, Playtime, Judgment, Overly Simple Definitions

Just something to think about

I took this picture the last time I went to the Houston Museum of Natural Science with Lil'E and Lil'er E. It is in the butterfly exhibit. In case you can't read from the picture below, it lets you know that

• Chocolate can contain up to 35 insect parts per 1.5-oz bar and
• Tomato paste can contain up to 20 fly eggs or 2 maggots in a 4-oz can.

These are according to allowances set out by the FDA. Enjoy your lunch!


(Please, no hate mail from women who are now conflicted about eating their chocolate. Thank you.)

Tags: Insects, Food, FDA, Houston Museum of Natural Science

Finally, incontrovertible proof of original sin

Here it is.

As I gave out snacks at VBS tonight, with children inhaling these sour, sugar coated sugar sticks, I consumed one of these abominations. Anyone who could come up with something so vile-tasting must surely be steeped in sin from birth.

I would say that Sour Patch straws are from the Devil!

And you know what the Devil is without the "d"? EVIL! And this candy is evil!

And you know what evil is without the "e"? VIL! And, as I said, these things are vile!

And you know what vil is without the "v"? IL! And these things will make you ill if you eat them!

And you know what il is without the "i"? L! And, if God grants mercy, these detestable candies will all be burned up in L!

A recent conversation with my wife

Mrs. E: I can't believe you posted that. All you talk about on your blog is music or being sick!

Me: Uh . . . . you have a point there.

Am I in a rut?

Well there's your problem!

So Liler'E has not been sleeping so well the last few nights. Fussy, waking up crying, over and over again. I was playing with him Monday night, got him to laughing, and saw some new white spots in his mouth. Molars. Plural. Two new molars breaking through soft gums at the same time. Well, know we know. This brings him to eight teeth, and I can only imagine what this will allow him to eat now. Without molars he was already doing a good job of eating whole hot dogs, apples (not sliced), and bananas and oranges by the truckload. Now I fully expect whole cows to fall prey to these choppers.

In other news, Liler'E was not waking me up with his crying, seeing as how I was not asleep in the first place. Major insomnia going on here. Last night I was up till 3 am. Night before was 1 am. Friday night I only managed about two hours. Don't know what's going on. I guess I can sleep when I die, right?

The following is an open letter, but specifically for the neighbor lady at the end of our block:

To Whom it May Concern:
The trials of homeownership are many. Chores must be done, leaks fixed, yards tended. At times many try to do too many things at one time; rare is the homeowner who has not been caught in the shower or changing clothes when the phone rang or a timer went off. This is part of the rigors of life in the 'burbs.

There are, however, occasions when time should be taken to complete a task at hand before rushing to attend to the next pressing matter. For example, while the water may need to be moved, so as not to flood part of your lawn or flowerbeds, time should be taken to dress properly. Rushing out in a baggy tee shirt that comes far short of covering your pink-pantie clad rump as you work to move the sprinklers is exactly the kind of situation we want to avoid. Please, for the sake of the neighbors - for the sake of the children - put some pants on.

Sincerely,
The Euphrony Family

My wife has a favorite Sonic carhop

Yes, you read that right. Mrs. E not only has preferred Sonic locations to go to for her diet cherry coke, easy ice, but she actually has a favorite carhop at her favorite Sonic. There are a few others, but they don't rank as high in her book.

I guess that's not so odd, really. What I find funny is that all of her fellow Sonic-addicted friends agree with her choice. It's like how they all went to see the same person to get their hair cut, they flock together to Sonic. Except with Sonic they're going there daily, maybe even more often.

I don't know what the point of this is. I'll stop talking now.

Contest canceled

I requested at least five entries for the contest to get a $10 iTunes card. I received four, therefore the contest has been called on account of lack of interest. I'll try to be more interesting next time, and you can try to get more excited for free music.

TTFN

New Post Label

In light of last week's highly controversial Gender Blogging post, I am creating a new post label. You see those down there, don't you. There's the word LABELS, followed by a colon and a bunch of words and phrases descriptive of the post. Well, here is a new one for you.

Things I should have run by Mrs. E first

As the label implies, it is something that I should have bounced off of my loving wife before posting, thus helping to avoid the potential necessity of hiding in a secure bunker from people I offended. Also, as the label implies, I did not first have her review the content before posting. Therefore, it is an example of my willfully seeking trouble.

For my inaugural post with this auspicious label, I present this picture. It is a picture of the bathroom sink where Mrs. E gets ready every morning. She has a habit of grabbing a drink in the morning out of the fridge, drinking less than half of it, and then forgetting to put it back in the fridge before heading out of the house with the kids. As it is hidden away in our bathroom, Mrs. E is not all that concerned about them piling up. This was actually one of the lowest points.

The astute eye will notice that there are 13 Caffeine Free Diet Coke bottles and 4 bottles of Aquafina sitting there. Mrs. E was unaware, until this moment, that I had taken this picture; but it was too perfect to pass up.

I allow Mrs. E these indulgences of messy areas. It's easier than fighting over it - there are much bigger issues in life than half-drunk cokes. It's hard for me, as my obsessive compulsive nature wants to pick the up and throw them away before she's even half done with the current drink.

Which are you? Do you have secret junk piles laying hidden from the common visitor's sight? Or, like me, do you have the kitchen cleaned and pots and pans washed and put away before you finish cooking and get dinner on the table?