Texas Tradition

Here in Texas, come every spring, it is a tradition to roam out into the fields and along the highways, pull your car over and get out to take pictures with the blooming bluebonnets. Now, I understand that some places consider these a weed (a pox upon their nation!) but we here in the Lone Star state love 'em.

Here's the results of this year's efforts. It's been a dry year so far, and the bluebonnets aren't blooming like they did last year; but it's still a good show. First, here's a bluebonnet for you.

Now Lil'E in the field.

And here's Lil'er E (when we were not having to keep him from picking every flower he saw).

And the family.

Tags: Bluebonnets, Pictures, Texas, Spring

I would be broke if . . .

I would be broke if I tipped at restaurants commiserate to the mess my children make. Today at Chili's, Lil'er E managed to toss his 1) milk, 2) water, 3) oranges, 4) corndog, 5) multiple spoons and forks, 6) coloring page/menu, 7) some french fries, 8) chips . . . I felt a little guilty, as I ran out the door.

2y (24m) (731d)

Yesterday was a big day - Liler'E turned 2 years old. That is, 24 months, or 731 days (last year was leap year). Just look at how happy he is! (Of course, if you had that much food on your face, you'd be happy, too.)

Big party today - Elmo themed, for the Elmo lover. A few friends (as "friendly" as a kid just turning two gets) and some family. At least, everyone who isn't sick. But he's happy today, and having fun.

No more computer for me today - it's all party from here on out.

Pre-School Elvis

Yesterday was a big day for the Euphrony children. Imagine The Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show. Picture Elvis singing "Hound Dog" on The Milton Berle Show. It was that big of a day. We took the kids to see the pre-school Elvis.

We went to see Elmo live.

There were a dozen Muppets on stage, singing and dancing. Grover, Big Bird, Cookie Monster, the Count, Bert and Ernie, even Oscar. But, when Elmo came out . . . well, imagine The Beatles hitting the first chords of "I Want To Hold Your Hand" on Sullivan and the screams that went out - same thing, only it was a bunch of kids screaming for their superstar.

In case you're wondering, the letter of the day was "F". And the number of the day was "6".

Seriously, it's a rare thing that gets Lil'er E to stop in his tracks and cease his wild and destructive ways. Elmo is magic like that. (Really, we can count on Elmo and Kung Fu Panda to stop him dead.) Just take a look at the attention he's giving to the big red guy.

Of course, the kiddie-crack (cotton candy) was a big hit, too. We got Lil'E a pink sno-cone, but she didn't like it. She said it tasted like skin. Mrs. E gave it a try - she said it pretty much had no flavor at all, but no skin. Poor kid.

But she got a Zoe doll, so she was happy. Lil'er E got a small Elmo, naturally. And everyone went home happy.

Tags: Elmo, Sesame Street, Live, Kids, Superstar, Cotton Candy, Sno-Cone

Captain, she canna take much more!

STOP! DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN AND/OR HAVE A WEAK CONSTITUTION.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I'm glad he was wearing his little corduroy overalls. They absorb a lot without much getting through. This is very, very, very important when a hull breach occurs.

What on earth is Euphrony talking about? Well, the other night - just before Wednesday night classes started at our church - my son's diaper had a hull breach. And I'm talking total failure, here. It's amazing how a kid almost two can run around and play, not a care in the world, while half of his leg gets coated in poop oozing out from its failed containment system. And, of course, not being at home, I had no change of clothes with me. I say "I" because Mrs. E (to her benefit) was absent this experience. It's truly amazing how a child of a mere 28 pounds can produce his own body weight in scat in a single "sitting". I feel I should call the EPA and report the trash can I threw that diaper in a Superfund site. But, alas, that is not my problem now.

Overall, though, Lil'er E has been less of a #2 problem than was his big sister. When she was a newborn she would wait until we started to change her diaper before letting go. And when I say let go I mean it - it was projectile poop. Seriously, we had to clean crap off the walls five feet away from the changing table. More than once. In a single day. What a parent won't do for love. In comparison, Lil'er E has been a tame excrement factory. At least, nothing flies across the room with him.

Well, maybe I should amend that last sentence. I should say that the brown stuff rarely flies with him. A couple of weeks ago Mrs. E had put the two kids in the bath together - always a fun playtime for them. She stepped out the the bathroom for a minute and as she did I was walking up to the bathroom door. What I saw I will never forget. There was Lil'E jumping out of the tub. Little brother had "dropped a snickers bar" in the bathwater. And picked it up. And threw it on the bathroom floor. And was he ever laughing the whole time.

Ah, memories. I'll cherish these when I'm 102 and the kids have to change my diaper.

"At least he won't remember it when he grows up"

Today was the Christmas program at Lil'er E's pre-school. As usual, there was a screamer, crying for mommy and daddy. It was Lil'er E. He actually tried to make his escape from the stage and run to us in the audience. Luckily (?) he wasn't alone - there were more screamers this year than in the past three years combined. F.U.N.

So, here he is. Hey, at least Old Saint Nick is jolly.


The elves look happy, too.


Oh, and I noticed something else, too. It would seem that my son is cursed with Male Pattern Baldness. Oh, the shame to be marked at such a young age!

Mr. Shifty Eyes

We got some Christmas pictures taken of the kids last Friday. (One must start early in one is to have any shot at getting Christmas cards out on time.) Here is one of Lil'E and Lil'er E. Aren't they cute!

But wait. What is that look Lil'er E is giving us? Ah, yes, that is his trademark look - Mr. Shifty Eyes. Let's take a closer look at that, shall we?

Oh, Mrs. E and I know this look well. It is quiet commonly followed by a mischievous grin and a mad dash headlong into trouble.

Never trust Mr. Shifty Eyes. No matter how cute you think he is. Trust me.

A mouse in the house!

Okay, actually two mice - Mickey and Minnie (aka Lil'E and Lil'er E). Ain't they sweet! Lil'er E had no problem at all getting into the idea of getting free candy at every house. He was, in fact, quite jealous of his haul - I would try to help him carry it, but trust was not forthcoming.

And here was my mask.

Happy Halloween!

Vacation fever

So here's a couple of pictures from the vacation thus far. This is where we are staying: The Great Wolf Lodge, with promised indoor water park.


And this is Lil'er E as we take him to the doctor. Yes, Vacation Fever did hit the Euphrony's, and sleep was not obtained last night. But we're pressing on, and Lil'E is having a blast. She's got a magic wand that she can wave at various items throughout the hotel and go on "quests" (while she's not swimming, that is).



Having a good time, anyway. See ya later!

A minor correction . . .

I noted last week a few small details about my life. Specifically, I mentioned that Liler'E was cutting two new teeth - both molars. That statement bears correction.

A review of the facts are in. A recount has been conducted. Hanging chads and dimples were examined for intent.

Liler'E is not, in fact, getting two new teeth.

The accurate count (from Price Waterhouse Cooper, none the less) is four teeth - two molars and two incisors - in a one week time frame. Said child is now closely resembling a shark; I nearly lost my arm below the elbow tonight. Two separate shoes were gnawed to nubs, as well. I'm thinking of getting a chewy dog bone for him.

In other news, the Euphrony's have been a little grouchy this holiday weekend. It seems that our water heater went out Friday night. Conveniently, this was just in time for everything to shut down for the long weekend. Cold showers for everyone! This is the third time in two years it has gone out on me and I'm ready to say so long to this dog. I'm thinking about a tankless water heater, even if they are more expensive initially (about twice as much as a normal water heater, plus installation). I'll make the final decision in the morning and should have hot water by Thursday night.

Also, by way of correction, it is a water heater and not a hot water heater. The later is somewhat redundant, even if most people say it this way.

It could be worse, though. I read that other people have plumbing problems that are harder to fix than my simple water heater. For example, the only toilet on the space station is on the fritz. They're currently using baggies (and I hope they have plenty). Also, fighter pilots have long had a problem with going on the go. The standard has been to use a "piddle pack", but they may have a better solution now. It involves chemical geling! Ain't science fun?

Well there's your problem!

So Liler'E has not been sleeping so well the last few nights. Fussy, waking up crying, over and over again. I was playing with him Monday night, got him to laughing, and saw some new white spots in his mouth. Molars. Plural. Two new molars breaking through soft gums at the same time. Well, know we know. This brings him to eight teeth, and I can only imagine what this will allow him to eat now. Without molars he was already doing a good job of eating whole hot dogs, apples (not sliced), and bananas and oranges by the truckload. Now I fully expect whole cows to fall prey to these choppers.

In other news, Liler'E was not waking me up with his crying, seeing as how I was not asleep in the first place. Major insomnia going on here. Last night I was up till 3 am. Night before was 1 am. Friday night I only managed about two hours. Don't know what's going on. I guess I can sleep when I die, right?

The following is an open letter, but specifically for the neighbor lady at the end of our block:

To Whom it May Concern:
The trials of homeownership are many. Chores must be done, leaks fixed, yards tended. At times many try to do too many things at one time; rare is the homeowner who has not been caught in the shower or changing clothes when the phone rang or a timer went off. This is part of the rigors of life in the 'burbs.

There are, however, occasions when time should be taken to complete a task at hand before rushing to attend to the next pressing matter. For example, while the water may need to be moved, so as not to flood part of your lawn or flowerbeds, time should be taken to dress properly. Rushing out in a baggy tee shirt that comes far short of covering your pink-pantie clad rump as you work to move the sprinklers is exactly the kind of situation we want to avoid. Please, for the sake of the neighbors - for the sake of the children - put some pants on.

Sincerely,
The Euphrony Family

Family Update

We may be coming through the end of the disease cycle that we've so thoroughly enjoyed the last three weeks. Keep you fingers crossed, but no fever in two days! Now, if only I hadn't dropped that stool on top of my foot . . . (I'm still debating if it may be broken or not.) I've never broken a bone in my life, and I don't want to start now!

My dad is apparently a big-wig at the moment, having his picture on the front page of their newspaper. He, and a couple of others, form a committee that seeks to either block the city from annexing the area they live in (just outside of town) or at the least offer something more than increased taxes for taking the land into the city. The city sees the area as a lucrative source of tax dollars, and the residents don't want to pay the extra chunk of change out of their pockets without little things like the city providing police and fire service, water, sewer, street lighting, etc. like the rest of the city gets. In other words, if they are going to be part of the city, then treat them like residents and not like back-alley mugging victims. They had a nice picture of him in front of their house, wearing his Aggie shirt, arms crossed and looking resolute.

We've had plenty of pictures lately. Here are a few of my little darlings. First is Lil'E. This is her school picture, taken by a man named "Mr. Funny" who seems to have a problem with bumping his head on the door frame every time he comes to the school. Lil'E can't talk about him without laughing for ten minutes.

Next up is Liler'E. Here is is, on a rock. And actually smiling for the photographer. Wow. Ain't he cute!

Finally, we have the siblings. They love each other so much - even when Lil'E smothers Liler'E to the point of driving him insane. The classic Texas bluebonnet photo. We had a fun time trying to get these photos; police action forced us to evacuate the park went first went to for the family pictures. They had a dozen cop cars and even a helicopter or two buzzing overhead. F.U.N!

Odds and ends I've been meaning to blog about but have not had the chance, still really don't have time, but did anyway in slapdash fashion

Here is a collection of brief notes, of which I have been wanting to post but I have not had the chance to do so. Until now, that is.

Directions onto the MIT Campus:
Here are my directions from the hotel I stayed in to the offices of the professor I was meeting with at MIT.

Leave your hotel, cross the street and go past the T and cut through the lobby of the first building. Go straight through the courtyard until you get to the building that looks like a 30-60-90 triangle. Enter through the 30° angle, walk through and exit through a corridor at the 90° angle. Follow this hallway as it takes you through several connected buildings. Turn right at the Infinite Corridor, go to the end, up a flight and to your left at the top of the stairs.

Only MIT has 30-60-90 triangle buildings and Infinite Corridors.


If I wanted to hear heavy panting, I'd solicit for crank callers:
Is it just me, or is there a profusion of music out (in many genres) in which the artist feels their music so profound that they simply must exhaust a lung-full of air to sing three or four words? The result of this emoting artistry is a breathless singer who must gulp enough air to spew out the next phrase, ad nauseam. Imagine if people, wrote this way - in every; single thing they put down, as I'm sure many, teachers - have seen, before and expect, to see again? To the gasping artist I say this: it is proven that you can add emotion to your music and take deep breaths without a gasp showing up in the recording. And if I wanted an over-acted musical interpretation, then I would buy Capt. Kirk's album. Lecture over.

My son is, in actuality, a goat:
Let me say that this has absolutely nothing to do with an Edward Albee play. I know he looks like a normal little boy; but, in reality, Lil'er E is a goat in disguise. I have come to this conclusion after watching him gleefully grab at a magazine, coupons, or any other paper product and promptly attempt to eat it whole. He does this, as well, with anything he gets his hands on - from toy balls to human flesh. One of his favorite delicacies is toes, with him sneaking up on the bare foot with the stealth of a lion and pouncing with the voracity of a piranha. Truly a frighting thing to behold; but his penchant for omnivorous behavior, including all things inedible, has lead to the label of "goat".

This makes me a little uneasy:
My work just put these in some of our bathrooms, replacing the paper towels. Besides the fact that it looks a bit odd, and you actually have to put your hands inside of it to dry them off, I have one more problem. I feel somewhat uncomfortable putting any part of my body into something called and "airblade". But maybe that's just me . . .

Good tips for penny pinching at the pump:
I think this has been making the e-mail rounds. If you have seen it and question the validity of the tips, I can vouch for them. If you've not seen it, read and it will give you a few ideas for possibly saving some money when buying gas.

1. Only buy or fill up your car or truck in the early morning when the ground temperature is still cold. (The pumps are not adjusted for temperature, so filling up later in the day - when the gasoline has thermally expanded - you will get less mass for the volume you pump. And you pay by volume.)
2. When you're filling up do not squeeze the trigger of the nozzle to a fast mode. (Pumping faster results in the volatile gasoline vaporizing more readily. This vapor is either recovered by systems on the pump or escapes to the atmosphere. Either way, you pay for volume that does not end up in you tank.)
3. If there is a gasoline truck pumping into the storage tanks when you stop to buy gas, do not fill up. (The truck pumping gas into the tanks is stirring up sediment in the storage tanks. If you fill up your car, you will suck some up this dirt/etc. into your tank and that can impact engine performance.)
4. Do not wait to fill up your car until the tank is nearly empty. Fill it when it is around half-full. (Again, this is because of how easily gasoline vaporizes. By filling when half-full, you lower the losses to vaporization.)

Well, that's it for now. If you've managed to read down this far I congratulate you for your perseverance. Have a nice day!

Tags: Dyson Airblade, MIT, Oddities, Gasoline, Savings

Wastin' away again in Toddlerville

Yes, it's true. As of Saturday week ago we have two walking children in the house. Naturally, Liler'E is into everything


Here is Lil'E, as her alter ego. This is where we really get all our money.


Look dad! This is a blast!


You really should try it for yourself, dad.


This is great!

There's a new sheriff in town . . .

. . . and we're a headin' for a shootout.

For the last four-odd years, the Euphrony family has lived under the rule of a benign dictator. As despots go, you can get much worse. She's little, cute, and more likely to use a tear in her eye than torture to get her way. Mrs. E and I have, perhaps, indulged her too much; she persists in thinking she's the boss, while we pull the strings behind her back.

But Lil'E has a rude awakening heading her way. There's a coup in the making. Liler'E is finding his voice, and he's posting notice: I'm the boss, now! He looks a little like Al Capone, and though he's still young his heavy hand (or teeth, actually) is being felt.

It's tragic, really, watching such a benevolent dictator realize her rule is beginning to crumble. At first she just didn't realize what a new child in the house would mean; but after a while she caught on. More time for Liler'E meant less time for her. The backlash has mostly occurred at bedtime and at 3 am as "bad dreams" make her want to sleep with mom and dad (who are truly the innocent victims in this). Now, though, little brother has started making his opinions known.

"EEEHHNNNNHHNNH" (translation: I'd like to see you try and make me eat anything except fruit and turkey hot dogs today.)

"UUUGGGGHHNNNH" (translation: Sister, get out of my face! Seriously, haven't you heard about personal space! I am not your little doll, I am a LIVING BREATHING PERSON!) - usually accompanied by a stiff arm that would make any football coach proud

"MAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMA" (mostly self-explanatory, but often a message that dad just don't cut it)

Non-verbal communication is also big. For example, Liler'E knows the signs for "milk" and "more" - but he only uses "milk" as an all-purpose message to get me what I want, now! Also prominent is the thrown toy (Lord help us when he learns accuracy) in a fit of temper. This dictator, like many under the age of five, would prefer a naturalist society - clothing banned.

But big sis still has her say. Being more mobile, she has the ability to determine what little brother wants to play with next and rush to it first, thus claiming priority when they fight over the same toy. She oft employs the phrase "no, no, no" when talking to Liler'E and uses her above-stated dexterity to cut off access to anything that, in her estimation, is inappropriate for a 12 month old to get into. All of which are activities she deems fitting her self-proclaimed status of "Little Mother"

Luckily, love has conquered all and the family is still mostly happy through the power struggle. My biggest fear: that the Little E's will form a junta and overrun the real power-center of the family. Yep, the teen years are on the horizon and mom and dad will be in a true struggle for control of the family - ah, the joy of anticipation.

So, how are your little tyrants?

Tradition!

I love traditions. I really do. Being an Aggie it almost comes naturally. There's a saying, along the lines of "if something happens once it's coincidence, twice it's a tradition".

Some traditions, however, I can do without.

Like the newly established traditional gift for Liler'E. The gift of disease. For Christmas, the poor kid got RSV and ran a fever up to 104°F. Now, for his birthday, our little trouper has a double ear infection.

I don't know who keeps giving him these presents, but I wish they'd stop! How about a nice savings bond, instead?

Happy Birthday, Little Man