Things I cannot do

Stroll
Seriously, strolling is the bane of my existence. Well, one of the banes, along with strong perfumes and disco music. When I walk as slow as I can - when I feel like I'm moving in slow motion like in the movies - I'm still moving faster than half the people around me. This is one of the reasons I don't like clothes shopping, because all you do is slowly stroll through racks that are placed close enough for a small child to fit between (but not a full grown man). I mean, seriously, I was walking around work on Monday - limping is more accurate, with my freshly trimmed ingrown toenail scrunched tenderly in my shoe - and my limp was faster than anyone I saw walking around that day.

What makes my inability to stroll even worse is when I get trapped, like when I'm walking down a hallway. Invariably I will encounter "the group", two or three people walking together and talking, side by side, completely blocking off the hallway. As they are deep in conversation, they are oblivious to the fact that they are walking slower than a snail and that someone is trying to walk by them. Yea verily, I am afflicted by the slow stroll of others. This is apparently a genetic problem, as I most definitely inherited this walking style from my mother. She's 73 and can still outpace me.



Sleep late (and by late I mean 7:30 a.m.)
Here's the deal - I'm prone to getting bad headaches, migraines, and they ain't fun. I've a new(ish) friend who mentioned that he has only gotten two or three headaches in his whole life, and the first wasn't until he was in his thirties - I can't fathom such a life (but he makes up for it with terrible food allergies). Anyway, like I said, I'm prone to headaches. When I sleep in, unless I'm really sick, I'll wake up with a mild headache. This headache will defy all medicine, growing and concentrating into a migraine by mid-afternoon. When I was younger I could sleep in, till around 9 in the morning; but the older I get the earlier I have to get up to avoid the headaches. Now a days I really can't sleep much past 7:30 without consequences. Luckily the kids help me out by never sleeping that late, anyway. I guess they just really love and care for their daddy.

Bungee jump
Okay, so technically, this is more a will not than a can not. If you were to tie me to a bungee cord and push me off a ledge, gravity and the cord's elasticity would take over. But the point is that you would have to tie me and push me. No way, baby - not gonna do it.

Anything you can't do?

Transitions (or "How Euphrony did something that might on the surface seem a bit crazy but really will turn out to be a good thing")

There are two things in life that I am not fond of. The first is being up on a ladder and the second is change. So, what have I done this week? I hung Christmas lights (hours going up and down a ladder) and I quit my job.

Yes, you read that correctly. I quit my job. In the middle of what is now, officially, a recession I quit my stable, relatively secure position. And I did it for the money. Among other reasons.

Is it crazy? Maybe.

So, about a month ago (actually, the week I had strep throat) I was called out of the blue by a head-hunter representing one of my old companies competitors. They had a job opening for a rheologist and my name was brought to their attention. They brought me in for an interview - I didn't even have time to put together a resume, I just gave them a CV I use when I go to conferences and such. Sixty minutes later, I went home. And then the head-hunter called back to talk salary.

I debated this for a month. I wasn't looking for a new job. Outside of the normal annoyances, and of course the Dilbert-like bureaucracies that can be found at every company, I was happy with my job. So, why should I be looking for something else? But, I would have been a fool to not at least talk to them. And then, after the interview, I prayed for weeks about this - and I think that God gave me little answers every day. Now was a good time for a change.

So, on Monday, I gave my boss two weeks notice. And, hearing that I was leaving for a competitor, he kindly asked me to pack up my desk and leave that day. Abrupt, but I kind of understand the reasoning (it's corporate policy, not just him). Everyone was quite surprised, and sad to see me go (that's nice) and I'm not burning any bridges; in all, I kind of feel bad leaving them in the lurch, but it was what I thought best for me and my family. Since I wasn't slated to start the new job until the 15th, I suddenly found myself with a great deal of free time. I'm working on the pre-employment stuff, drug screening, and background check, and with that all out of the way I should be able to go ahead and start next Monday. Just an extra week of vacation this year.

As I said in a comment yesterday, I had learned firsthand that free time isn't free. I've been busier than a one-armed coat hanger and barely found time to write this two days after the event. But there you go - the adventures continue.

News Flash: Euphrony updates blogroll, stock market dives 338 points

Maybe it means the end of the world, but it needed to be done. I've updated my blogroll (that thing on the right hand sidebar where your blog is linked to from my blog). I did a little arranging while I was at it. There are a couple of blogs that I don't want to take off my list, but since they collectively blog about once a month I felt they should be separated into a "slow lane" of the information highway.

What, you don't see your blog listed over there? Well, let me know about it and I'll put it before the management and see what can be done. But if further losses in the stock markets ensue, don't blame me!

While I'm at it, you can enjoy this child's homework (not one of mine!) that needed some adult proofing before turning it in.

(I'm told this mother works at Home Depot – she is selling a shovel. The teacher thought she was a pole dancer.)

Frame of reference

So, round here, we still have a couple of large piles of storm debris in our front yard. If it doesn't get picked up in a day or two we'll get it taken care of our selves. Don't want the grass to die out completely, after all.

They say that Hurricane Ike has left us with something like 15 million cubic yards of debris. It's hard to imagine how much that is without a frame of reference. Here's one. Let's imagine that WALL*E were doing his trash-compacting and stacking job with all this debris, placing it in an area one football field long and three wide. When WALL*E was done stacking, the tower of trash would be over 2400 feet high. That is taller than the current tallest building on earth, the Burj Dubai.

That's a lot of debris.

Tags: Hurricane Ike, Storm Debris, Burj Dubai

Knowledge exploring is oh so lyrical when you think thoughts that are empirical!

Yep, from this day forward our little girl with be exploring knowledge and swimming off to "the dropoff" five days a week. Lil'E is officially a kindergarten kid.

(Pause while Mr. and Mrs. E wipe their teary eyes)

I'm still trying to figure out how this happened. It seems like just the other day I was changing her diapers and teaching her to say "mama" and "dada" and "route 44 diet coke". Now she can already spell them and some other words, plus draw like a big kid and ignore her parents like a teenager. Where has the time gone?

We went to the school on Friday to meet her teacher. While Lil'E put away her school supplies Lil'er E nearly disassembled her nicely put-together room (she was glad to see him leaving, I think). She seems nice - at least she doesn't look like an evil teacher, right?

Can't say that we're not a little nervous. We've heard many good things about the school and the school district, but with so many people now opting to homeschool or private school their kids you can't help but question if you're doing the right thing. One thing that seems certain (at least right now) is that homeschooling is not an option - Lil'E simply won't let us teach her anything, but she listens well to "teacher". We'll just have to see what life brings and continue the great debate (I'm almost afraid to ask for advice), but I'm fairly confident that the school will be terrific and she'll do great.

So, off we go on the next great adventure of parenting.

Tags: First Day of School, Kindergarten, Finding Nemo