Because Shaun asked . . .

I commented on Shaun's blog today, mentioning that I am reading rheology journals. Shaun responded:

rheology: the study of the deformation and flow of matter under the influence of an applied stress

What on EARTH do you do for a living?

Well, Shaun, since you asked - I’m a rheologist, of course!

I work for an oilfield services company, in research, developing and studying drilling fluids. I could give you a couple of references to papers I authored, but that would ruin my anonymity and you would probably lose interest in them before you finished the title. I did post an excerpt from a paper on my blog some time ago, pretty much just to scare people.

For me, I try to make fluids that you can pump down a hole that can be five or six miles long, have it viscous (thick) enough to remove the drilled up dirt from the hole but not so thick that it’s like pushing bread dough through a straw. Plus about a hundred other considerations. Oh, bonus! The common vernacular for drilling fluids is to call them "muds" (since they consist mostly of dirt and water). So I get to tell people I play with mud all day long - every little boys dream!

As for rheology in general, it has great application in everyday life. For example, take peanut butter. You want the processed peanut butter thick enough so that it doesn’t separate into that oil layer on top like organic peanut butters (most people like it this way). If it is too thick, though, you can’t spread it on bread without tearing the bread. There is a nice, non-scary article here that gives a basic explanation. The premise of rheology is that everything flows, everything is deformable, given a long enough timescale and the proper environment.

Rheology trivia:

1. The longest running laboratory experiment (as recognized by Guinness) is a rheology experiment. (Unsurprisingly, I’ve blogged this, as well.) In it, pitch (you know, the stuff Noah used to seal the ark) at room temperature – which will shatter like glass if hit with a hammer – has been left in funnel to drip for the last 78 years. In that time, it has produced eight drops. It has won both an Ig-Nobel Prize and Dull Website of the Year from the Dull Men’s Club.
2. Glass panes in very old churches in Europe are a prime example of everything flows. The glass is noticeably thicker at the bottom of the pane than at the top. Even though the glass seems "solid" it is really flowing over a very long time.
3. There is a rheological parameter named the Deborah Number, after Deborah in the book of Judges. In her song praising God in Judges 5:5, she sings "The mountains flowed before the Lord." She is thus commonly recognized as the first rheologist noting that, given God’s long-term objective, everything does indeed flow.

So, too much information? You can read some more that I’ve talked about rheology on my blog, if you’re interested. I wouldn’t be surprised if that link never gets followed, though.