Tuesday, October 07, 2008


One of the Lil'Es favorite evening activities with dad is playing on the bed. We could be on the dark side of the moon and if I said "Let's go play on the bed" you would find both Lil'E and Lil'er E there in a heartbeat. We play monster and hide under the sheets, the kids climb on me like a jungle gym - it's all a lot of laughs.

So last night, as we were playing, Lil'E starts bouncing around and starts singing. Here are the words that were coming out of her mouth:

Alexis and Jackson sitting in a tree
What! Already! She's too young for this, right? Apparently not, because she said they also sing
Lil'E and Jaxon sitting in a tree
Yes, there are two kids in her class whose names are pronounced the same but spelled differently. And one of the two is sitting in a tree with my baby! She's only five, for goodness sakes, and that is way too young for these kinds of things.


Or am I just being a dad? (Excuse me while I clean my shotgun while rocking on the front porch.)

Another example, from last Saturday: We go to Lil'E's first soccer game of the season (delayed a month by Ike). On her team is a boy who was in her preschool class. Another boy from preschool had been on the same team with him last spring, but wasn't playing this fall. Boy #2 game to the game anyway to cheer for his friend, but his mom told him before hand that Lil'E was on the team, too, this year. He looked at her and said "What? My Lil'E?" and proceeded to get a bit jealous at Boy #1 being on the team but not him. I thing we'll see him at every game, but who will he be there to see? And what's with this possessiveness anyway? His Lil'E? I don't think so! But, because women can do this in their sleep, Lil'E still managed to enthrall him by sharing some of her post-game snack and securing him his very own bottle of Gatorade - and he followed her around like a puppy dog. She's got him under her power, totally controlled.

Like I said, she's too young for this. Right?

How old were you when you had your first boy/girl friend?


Kate McDonald said...

sorry... I think we are born with it. keep the shot gun handy

JSue said...

Maybe I'm not crazy to homeschool...

You think?

texasinafrica said...

I kissed a boy in first grade.

Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I kissed him after chasing him around the playground and both of us falling to the ground, where I basically pinned him down before kissing him.

You probably didn't want to hear that.

euphrony said...

TIA, Why am I not surprised? Mrs. E said she did something similar in 2nd grade.

JSue, you think the boys at church are any better? Sure, some are related to your girls, but there are plenty of others.

Kate, you ain't lying!

Cristy said...

First grade sounds about right.

JSue said...

Just tell Lil' E what Hot Rod told the girls:
"Enjoy your Daddy now 'cause at 16, I'm goin' to prison."

At least I can keep my eyes on them at church...(we're only related to three of them) The one I worry about likes to wear LSU colors (I'm sure you can guess who that is)- It's a good thing I like his parents.

BTW - I'm afraid it was about 1st grade for me.

Douglas said...

"How old were you when you had your first boy/girl friend?"

Kindergarten and then not again until after undergrad when I started dating my wife. My mom was really glad my friends and I all read IKDG in high school and decided to not pair off for the time being, though as nerdy as I was, some might say my options were limited anyway.

I like the shotgun idea, though I think its import would be lost on boys at this age. Also, for full effect it helps if people believe you are actually crazy enough to use it. You might try inviting the boys out back for BBQ rat, or asking if he can help you butcher a dog/rabbit/other small mammal for dinner or something of that nature. Then wax on about the health benefits of rat/rabbit/cat and how it is truly better for you than beef. Throw in some double entendres about gutting the animal and some technical mumbo jumbo on nutrition for effect and persuasiveness.
Here is a starting point for research.

I know an old retired artillery man from the Army who slapped a used handgun target one of his daughter's fiances while saying "Don't ever touch my daughter." His daughter was being a rebel and in keeping with the theme picked a real loser. She actually had to remind her a$$hole husband about that threat a few years later. I think that was shortly before she divorced him and moved back home.


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