Thursday, August 24, 2006

(Manly) Household cleaning tips

not my childLet me preface this by informing everyone that there are two women and one cat in my household. This should be interpreted as "Houston, we have a shedding problem".

So, when you live in a shed-hair filled house, what do you do? This question has plagued men for ages. I present a few of my own personal tips for coping.

  1. Hair will naturally accumulate like snow drifts or sand dunes. Over time, you will find that will add up to a large volume of hair. Do not throw this small treasure away. Instead, you can be creative and sort the hair to make a fine thread (useful for knitting shirts and sweaters) or you could keep it in bulk to make your own comfortable stuffed pillows and mattresses.
  2. What hair that does not build up into drifts will collect on the end of you broom when you sweep. Most people will pull this off, in disgust, and throw it away. I would suggest that, instead, you allow as much hair to build up as possible on the brushes. Once you have finished sweeping, you will find that your broom has been converted into a mop - just wet the "mop" and your good to go. This will save in expenses by allowing you to not buy separate, unnecessary cleaning tools.
  3. not my wifeOne thing that people dread the most is the "wet hair tangled in the shower drain" problem. This, too, can be used to your advantage. This hair is not only wet, but infused with shampoos, gels, and soaps that make it a soggy and sticky mess. This also makes it a near-perfect caulking material. Admittedly, over time the hair will dry and need to be replaced, but it is an abundant and renewable resource. Use it to seal off cracks in mortar and bricks, leaks in your shower and other plumbing fixtures, or to fill cracks in your dry wall (you will want to apply some paint to touch-up the wall repair).
not my catWe live in an age of recycling; let's not allow this vital resource to go to waste and crowd our landfills. What other ideas would you suggest? Remember, hair today gone tomorrow!



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3 comments:

Kat said...

Ok. That's gross.

But....you could also use the hair clump that gathers near the drain as a nice loofah. It already has soap and gel on it...

The Cachinnator said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

euphrony said...

Cach - be a man and swallow it back down.

Loofah - good tip, Kat.

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