Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Finally, incontrovertible proof of original sin

Here it is.
Sour Patch Straws
As I gave out snacks at VBS tonight, with children inhaling these sour, sugar coated sugar sticks, I consumed one of these abominations. Anyone who could come up with something so vile-tasting must surely be steeped in sin from birth.

I would say that Sour Patch straws are from the Devil!

And you know what the Devil is without the "d"? EVIL! And this candy is evil!

And you know what evil is without the "e"? VIL! And, as I said, these things are vile!

And you know what vil is without the "v"? IL! And these things will make you ill if you eat them!

And you know what il is without the "i"? L! And, if God grants mercy, these detestable candies will all be burned up in L!


NatCh said...

Clever, well done! Bravo!

erin said...

Hehe, very clever. I have never had the green apple ones, but I like the blue and red kind (don't know the flavors).

Cristy said...

This is hilarious! I don't like any of these sour candies, either.

I did have a co-worker one time that would come by and stick her hand in a bag of any treat that happened to be sitting on my desk. Never asked, never said a word, just came by and grabbed one of whatever. Now, I really didn't care, but I thought it would be funny if the treat didn't taste so good, so I went to the store and bought a bag of those gumballs coated with this sour stuff. We all had a good laugh at her reaction, including her after she found somewhere to spit it out!

Anonymous said...

That is awesome! I don't think I have ever seen such a clever play on words!!

euphrony said...

I wish I could claim credit for originality, but alas I plagiarize. I've know that play on "devil" for years.

The candy, however, is truly the spawn of Satan. It's not that it is ridiculously sour (I like sour), and it's not the fact that it has enough sugar in and coating it to send a healthy man into diabetic shock. No, it is the flavors they use - disgusting! Especially when combined with the sour and the sugar.

I watched ~50 pre-schoolers turn into ravaging animals after consuming three of these apiece. I felt so sorry for their parents, sending them home like that. But I was one of those parents, so I can only blame myself.

Cristy - I remember that when I first visited Amy's blog she was lamenting a coworker who also stole much the candies she set out. Funny, that people all over are the same. If I remember correctly (and I do), she was considering rhubarb candy to get the point across.

Wayward Son said...

You are either very creative, or you have too much time on your hands. :) Funny!

euphrony said...

Neither, actually. See the above comment on knowing this for years, and I have repeated asked my boss for a clone to help me do my work (irregardless of the moral ramifications). But I'm glad it created the opportunity for humor.

Kat @ Inspired To Action said...

Very funny!

I've never had the apple kind, but I do like the red kind - whatever flavor that is.

Can we still be friends?

euphrony said...

Actually, I didn't ingest the "apple" or "strawberry" variety. It was the blue "whatever" kind that poisoned my system. Perhaps the other flavors are not a product of man's fall from grace. Perhaps. So I guess we can still be friends, even if you like to walk the line between good and evil.

Kat @ Inspired To Action said...


Douglas said...

I'd comment on you being clever and all, but I see you detest such compliments (either that or you are just disarmingly honest).

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